


an ode to the boy i love

by laehys



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Alternate Universe - Radio, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27435382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laehys/pseuds/laehys
Summary: Being underneath the stages lights was something unusual for him — it just wasn’t part of his life anymore. It was something that had happened before and would never repeat again. Routine for Renjun was a radio booth, a mic in front of him, and the blinds closed down.That is, until Donghyuck came along.or: radio dj!renjun and idol!donghyuck.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 51
Kudos: 305





	an ode to the boy i love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lemonbreeze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonbreeze/gifts).



> i started writing this back in may and just pushed it to the side since then, but hopped back into it now so 😅😅 if the writing is kinda off that's part of the reason hhhhh  
> title's from troye sivan's _animal_
> 
> and happy bday, bon!!! 💖💖  
> hope you have a great day and that you can enjoy it a lot!! meeting you has been one of the best parts of being in this fandom and ily lots <333

It’s their comeback stage but they’re still performing at the beginning of the show — a timeslot where no one’s paying attention, where no one has even turned on their television yet.

It’s nothing new, really. Renjun is used to that treatment.

Their performance seems to end quickly, the song fading into the generic claps that the broadcast station puts at the end of every song to hide the fact that few people actually cheer for them in person.

They get ushered quickly off stage, and when they step down, finally entering the backstage session, he sees some other groups lined-up while waiting for their turn. Most of them don’t even acknowledge him, but he also doesn’t bother with that anymore. Only the newly debuted groups would keep greeting and bowing to everyone they saw, being that a big senior or a nobody, anxiousness rolling out of them in waves.

Renjun is walking back to his waiting room, his members ahead of him, when he sees them in the corner—DREAM. A new group, debuted less than a month ago. They’re all huddled together in a circle, talking quietly with each other in the way that only a new group, still confused and unused to everything around them, do.

It’s not Renjun’s business and he wouldn’t even spare them a longer glance if it wasn’t by overhearing a complaint in his mother tongue.

And that makes him stop in his tracks.

In the next second, he’s moving closer to that circle, smiling politely when one of the boys sees him approach, elbowing his members with a wide-eyed stare. They don’t look to be that young for having just debuted, but Renjun has given up trying to understand the industry and its logic a long time ago.

“Do you need some help?” Renjun asks, waving off their 90-degree bowings and stuttering introductions. He repeats the question in another language — one more familiar, one that brings comfort deep into his bones.

In the end, it turns out to be just a miscommunication.

The boy that had complained introduces himself as Chenle and says that he’s been in Korea for less than three months, that he’s still learning the language. It was nothing major, just some discussion about a particular moment in the choreography with too many detailed terms for Chenle to understand, so Renjun helps.

Chenle smiles brightly and they all thank him profusely. Their leader, a boy who looks a bit stressed and with bleached silver hair, bows deeply once again; he introduces himself as Mark and says he loves his new song. Renjun doubts he even heard it besides, maybe, as a muffled noise from backstage, but he still nods and thanks appropriately.

Renjun wishes them good luck and, after a moment of hesitation, exchange numbers with Chenle.

(He’s young and new and doesn’t speak the language. Renjun’s first impression of the group is that they’re kind, but he’s seen enough in the industry to know that everyone uses a mask. You can never be too sure.)

They meet again two days later in another broadcast station. Chenle waves him forward, greeting him with as much enthusiasm and spontaneity as someone who spent two days exchanging messages can do.

“For how long are you guys promoting?” Renjun asks, smiling politely. He sees from the corner of his eyes one of his members, Sicheng, looking at him. Renjun just ignores him.

It’s Mark who answers. “This is our last week. It’s our goodbye stage here, actually.”

And that makes Renjun frown. They’re new and apparently finishing promotions, but Renjun doesn’t even remember seeing their group on TV or on his SNS. “I’m sorry if I’m being rude or anything,” he begins, gently, trying to lessen the blow that will come after. “But have you gone to any shows or…?” He stops for a second, eyeing their reactions as silence befalls them all. “It’s just that you’re a new group and you’re finishing your promotions in less than a month? It’s unusual, it’s all. Sorry.”

A few members exchange glances, one boy with rainbow hair tries to say something but Mark interrupts him with a stern “ _Hyuck_ ” that immediately quiets him down.

It doesn’t surprise Renjun that Mark is the only one talking with him—he’s the leader and Renjun knows he’s being too invasive with his question; he probably looks like he’s searching for trouble or trying to stir up something with them.

“No, our company—no.” Whatever Mark thought of saying, he gives up right in the middle, pressing his lips close together in a small fake smile.

It all comes down to that in the end. _Company_. The ones who have all the power and decides their fate when they’re too young or too unimportant to have an opinion.

But it’s a pity that they’re doing nothing on their debut. Renjun remembers that even his group had gone to a few shows and radios, trying to make everyone know about them in whatever way possible, making all the connections—and that’s how Renjun had managed to land his radio gig.

Chenle is having his hair patted down by another member, one who has reddish hair and had introduced himself as _Jaemin_. Chenle is looking a little down, but smiles again when catches Renjun’s eyes and lets Jaemin fusses over him.

Renjun pauses and can’t help but think of himself two years ago, fresh and excited about his surroundings, ready to take over the world. He could help them. Probably wouldn’t get anything back from that, but he sees the driven force behind their gaze, the energy that speaks of freshness, the clench of Mark’s jaw when he says it’s their last week. Probably years and years, too much sweat and blood shed in practice rooms — and just for their dream to start like this.

They’re not young kids — probably his age, to be honest —, but they still have a chance. And that’s more than Renjun can say about himself. He’d be over the moon if someone had given him a chance like that back then.

“I host a radio show,” he ends up saying, his mind already made. There’s this _want_ in their eyes, the need to do something, that he relates deeply with. Something buried deep inside of him that still flares up sometimes. “I could try to see if I can bring you guys as a guest. We don’t have many idols coming over, but we do a special corner when they come. I’d need to talk with the producers and then see with your company and your manager but...”

Mark is looking at him, his expression neutral, but his eyes are sharp and trying to see if he’s hiding something. Renjun lets him — he has nothing to hide.

Their youngest member, Jisung if he remembers correctly, is pulling one of the boy’s sleeves, his mouth echoing a light “ _hyung, hyung, hyung_ ”.

They all look at him curiously and with tentative smiles, though Chenle is the one who beams and says “Hell yeah!”.

“It’s not anything big or anything like that, but at least it is something…”

“Are you serious right now?” Donghyuck is the one who asks, the one with the rainbow hair. He looks at Renjun with narrowed eyes. “It’s not a joke, right?”

“No. I’m being serious. I… didn’t have that many opportunities when I debuted, so I know how it feels to want to try to do something, but ending up empty-handed. ”

The only boy with dark hair — _Jeno_ , his mind supplies — leans close and whispers something into Mark’s ear.

“I think we can work something out,” Mark says after, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

* * *

Their company agrees on a group schedule. One week later, they enter the radio booth with shuffling feet and wandering gazes.

Renjun tries his best to be a good host and bring them out of their shyness. It’s a little awkward. But, considering it’s their first time on the radio, they do well enough — and some of the members really shine when they're given the opportunity to be more open and show a little bit of personality.

The next week, the radio’s producer asks for Jaemin and Donghyuck to come back again, to try out as some kind of test, and Renjun finds it easier having to control the conversation with only two people.

And though they both confess, before the radio starts, how nervous they are with their first individual schedule, once they’re on air there are no problems and all their charisma pours down.

It ends up needing some reorganization on the radio’s segments, but Donghyuck and Jaemin land a place as special DJs with a fixed spot on Monday night.

They’re ecstatic when they hear the news and Jaemin keeps thanking him even though Renjun repeats over and over that he did nothing. And he didn’t; it was all their hard work and natural charm that had caught the attention of the radio’s producer.

Still, Donghyuck insists on paying him a meal, and Renjun accepts after a few rugs on his arms and pleading eyes sent in his direction. It's free food, after all.

Chenle drops him a message filled with emojis and Jaemin brings him a homemade meal the next week. Renjun tries to wave it all off, but he can’t help the warm feeling that installs on his chest and grows. He’s happy he made the decision of approaching them and they’re all blossoming like that. And he’s happy that they’re trying to connect on a deeper level with him — not only as professionals in the same field and colleagues, but also as a same-age friend.

 _It’s the start of something_ , Renjun thinks on their little break, while the song is playing on-air and their mics are muted, and he’s laughing out loud from a joke that Donghyuck made. Weeks ago it’d be only him and his phone, scrolling mindlessly through a random SNS while he waited for the moment he'd get back on air. _Maybe the start of a good friendship._

* * *

[Update] STARSTAR’s Agency Confirms Group’s Disbandment

[+103 / -42] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ nugu

[+83 / -27] Who are they?

[+23 / -7] I’m so sad ㅠㅠㅠ I really liked them ㅠㅠ

[+18 / -4] I’ll always support you Winwin-oppa!

[+5 / -2] Were they new?  
↳ Read the article next time! They promoted for two years!

* * *

**Chenle (DREAM):  
**I just saw the news I’m so sorry, hyung :( (07:31 PM)

**Jaemin (DREAM):**  
Ah, Renjunnie!  
I’m sorry that things ended up this way!  
But I’m sure new things will line up soon for you!  
Fighting!!! (08:57 PM)

**Donghyuck (DREAM):**  
I know you said you were expecting this  
But it must still hurt a lot  
I’m sorry you’re having to go through this…  
Let’s eat out together sometime with all the boys  
I’ll be paying :) (10:10 PM)

* * *

“...and she finishes by saying that she doesn’t know if she should end her friendship because of what the boyfriend said or if she should just ignore him. So… what do you think?” Renjun asks, putting down the script he was reading. He looks over to Jaemin and Donghyuck, both sitting across the table.

Donghyuck leans closer to the mic in front of him. “Ignore your boyfriend and continue being friends with whoever you want. He has no right to be acting like this.”

Jaemin fiddles with his headphones before replying, “I think that love is a very strong thing and it shouldn’t be taken lightly, but that doesn’t mean that it’s only about the love you feel for your boyfriend; it also means the one you feel for your friend. You shouldn’t rush in your decision because someone might end up hurt in the end…” He trails off, looking up with wide eyes and shrugging.

“...and that’s one more of Jaemin’s sweet words that means _‘I don’t know what to say’,_ ” Renjun says with a bright tone, stuffing a giggle.

Donghyuck laughs and Jaemin smiles, shrugging one more time as he nods.

“That’s a complicated situation, but I hope the sender of the story can do what ends up being the best decision for her,” Jaemin finishes.

Donghyuck sends him a nod, signaling he won't be saying anything, and Renjun flips to another page of the script in his hands. “Hello, Ren-D, and Jaem-D, and Sun-D. Listening to your show has been my favorite part of the day, but lately I’ve been having a big problem…” Renjun pauses for a second, in hopes of creating tension. “I can’t sleep anymore!” He exclaims in a high-pitched tone.

“ _Huh_?” Jaemin echoes, but Renjun continues reading. “Every monday night I listen to the radio to help me fall asleep, but every time I hear Sun-D’s voice my heart just keeps racing!” From across the table, Jaemin lets out a laugh and Donghyuck hides his face behind his hands. Renjun continues reading, a teasing smirk curling on his lips. “And then I’ll be watching his fancams and videos and when I see the time it’s too late! Help me, Ren-D, Jaem-D, and Sun-D, what can I do to fall asleep easily after that? AS Radio, I love you… _Sun-D, I love you~_ ”

“Ah… this is a hard one…” Jaemin teases, turning to the side to face Donghyuck. “What do you think about this, Sun-D?”

Donghyuck lowers his hand and Renjun struggles to stifle a laugh when he sees the boy’s flushed cheeks. It’s nothing new for them to read these kinds of messages to each other — especially when the fans seem to be in a competition to see who can send the cringiest message to make them read it out loud —, but some of them still make them embarrassed.

“Well… You didn’t need to send a message on the radio just to tell me that, Ren-D,” Donghyuck jokes, and Renjun rolls his eyes and bites down on a smile. “But thank you! Unfortunately, I can’t help you. I heard that once you start to fall for DREAM’s Haechan, then there’s no way back…”

“A warm cup of milk and a shower before bed helps to make you sleepy,” Jaemin adds quickly, cutting Donghyuck off, “and, also, leave your phone outside of your bedroom! Just so you don’t feel tempted to use technology and can rest your mind.”

Donghyuck tries to elbow Jaemin, but the later manages to avoid him.

“Maybe you can try to hear Haechan singing some ballads? It could help you to calm down and fall asleep easily!” Donghyuck exclaims.

“Trying to set up a mood in your room before deciding to sleep could help,” Renjun says. Donghyuck shoots him a pleading look and Renjun only sticks out his tongue before continuing. “I don’t know about this Haechan guy, but reading a boring book to make you sleepy is also something I heard about! Thank you for enjoying AS Radio and we all hope you can have great dreams tonight! And now, we’ll be listening to Chen’s _Good Night~_ ”

* * *

The days slowly pass away, the weeks merging into one another.

Renjun finds that he has a lot more of free time in his hand now that he doesn’t have any more group schedules or needs to go to his company to practice for hours and hours on end. Though it feels somewhat freeing, it also makes him feel the void in his life that used to be filled with the idol part.

Now the radio fills out most of his day. It’s only at night that he goes to the station, but Renjun uses the day to search for new things to introduce later, prepare new segments, to discover new musicians. He feels like he needs the distraction now that everything he prepared for, he wanted to achieve, is a far away unfulfilled dream.

The stage is behind him. His present and future are only the radio.

Jaemin and Donghyuck have been a great source of help in that department — helping him search for new content. They also bond and start to build a friendship together over the many late-night outings in search of good food after a broadcast. There’s only so many midnight coffees runs you can go before one starts to slither inside your life, intertwining with your thoughts and occupying part of your mind.

Jaemin is great—funny, kind, gentle. Renjun likes him and his (sometimes over the top) personality a lot, but it’s Donghyuck who manages to grab his attention and just _match_ him in a way Renjun never experienced before; they work well together and seem to be in tune without even talking about it.

 _Maybe that’s how a best friend is supposed to be like_ , Renjun thinks one day over coffee. It’s two in the morning and Donghyuck is on a break from practice. They have only a few minutes before he needs to go back to his company, and Renjun is tired from all the work on the radio station, but just that few minutes with a laughing Donghyuck already made it all worthwhile and Renjun can ignore the exhaustion that clings to his bones.

These last weeks it’s been hard to find a time to meet besides his fixed schedule on Monday night, with Donghyuck's group comeback approaching so fast, so Renjun takes whatever crumbs and little moments that he can.

“I thought the company didn’t give a damn about your group?” Renjun had asked one day. They were way past the need to be polite and skitter around any topics. Donghyuck just had something around him that made Renjun unafraid to say anything.

Donghyuck had shrugged and leaned forward, stealing one bite from Renjun’s cake. Renjun just let him have it. “I have _no_ idea what goes inside their minds,” he had said. “One moment we’re all in the dark and practicing random songs, and in the next second they say we’re coming back and need to record and learn a choreography as fast as possible.”

“That’s frustrating.”

Donghyuck had snorted, waving one hand. “You tell me. But it’s better to have some shitty promotions than not do anything at all.”

Renjun could see how tired Donghyuck was, the deep eye bags under his eyes and sunken eyes, so he bought him some coffee to take back to his members.

A few days later, he received a message from Donghyuck wanting to retribute the favor. And then they kept doing that over and over again, until they had no idea whose time to pay was it, choosing to decide with a game of paper-rock-scissors instead.

* * *

He's doing the introduction alone in the booth, but Renjun still feels jittery, praying mentally that he won’t stutter on air. They’re trying to do a viewable radio for the first time and he feels too aware of all the cameras rolling now, broadcasting live to hundreds of people around the world, their red lights flickering in the corner of his vision.

He finishes his ment and introduces the radio’s sponsors, ending with, “And right after our commercial break we’ll be receiving in the studio a few guests who just came out with their new album! Stay tuned so you don’t miss it out~”

Renjun waves to one of the cameras in the corner of the room and waits for the red button of his mic to turn off, taking off his headphones when the advertisements start to play. He gets up from his chair at the end of the table just as the door of the booth opens, a staff putting her head inside through the opening.

“Everything ready?” She asks, and Renjun only nods, his eyes fixed on the people behind the glass window, waiting for their moment.

Even though he’s seen the pictures and videos, it still surprises him by seeing the boys with different hair colors. Chenle waves and leaves a mark of his hand on the glass which Donghyuck immediately tries to wipe it off with his long sleeves, all the while smiling and gently scolding Chenle. Renjun bites his lower lip and tries not to smile too wide, waving back.

Mark is the one who enters first, still a little awkward even though they aren’t strangers anymore. He greets him politely, eyes catching all the cameras before sitting down. Renjun welcomes them all one by one on the door, patting off a hugging Jaemin and barking out a laugh when Donghyuck enters last with a copy of his comeback album in his hands, presenting it to him.

Renjun smiles, accepts it, and decides not to comment on how he’d pre-ordered the two versions of the album just last week.

It’s no surprise that Jaemin and Donghyuck sit on his right and left sides; they’re the ones who are used to the radio and how it all works, so they’ll help the other members to settle down and keep the conversation going.

Renjun looks briefly to the monitors in front of him and the live broadcast of the show, seeing the comments flying off at such a speed that he can’t even read them. He props the album he received on the back of his monitor and makes sure to centralize it so the cameras will see it.

A staff from outside of the glass waves a paper in the air and Renjun snaps back to his work mode, putting on his headphone and stifling a laugh when he sees that the boys immediately copy his movements.

The red light turns back on and Renjun leans close to the mic, “And now we’re back with our special guests in the studio… the ones who are coming back with their second mini-album— _DREAM_! Welcome, everyone!”

* * *

@ASRadio: _[image]_ Thanks to our guests from today’s radio show! @DREAM_twt  
#DREAMComeback #Shining_Bright #ASRadio  
↳ @twinklemark: KINGS  
↳ @chenlefairy: is there any eng sub available???  
↳ @dreamdevil: ok now release the fancams  
↳ @hyuck_babie: KLAJKLDLKDJAS YALL LOOK SO GOODD

@ASRadio: Check out @DREAM_twt live performance from today!  
https://youtu.be/vofjeJvRT9c  
#DREAMComeback #Shining_Bright #ASRadio  
↳ @dreamdevil: UPLOAD THE FANCAM!!!! i need to see that nomin moment again  
↳ @hamjji_sung: I LOVE U

@6dream6: _[image]_ ok but can we talk abt this moment please???? like ??????  
↳ @6dream6: am i the only one seeing some tension there 👁️👄👁️  
↳ @nanaflowers: they’re friends! hyuck + jaemin are special djs with him :)

@kingjeno: _[video]_ bfs  
↳ @asunsetrain: i can’t believe they answered at the same time alsdlskls soulmate culture  
↳ @asunsetrain: we were all so well fed today with every ship  
↳ @kingjeno: I KNOW RIGHT  
↳ @pwark02: but why you cropped jaemin and chenle? they also did the same thing?

* * *

“And now, to end our first part, we’ll be listening to DREAM’s Shining Bright! It’s their new release and it’s receiving a lot of love and attention! Right after the commercials, we’ll be starting our second part and read the stories you guys have sent to us. Stay tuned~”

Renjun waits for the red light to turn off and he exhales away from the mic. The song plays on his earphones and Renjun hums to the beat, unlocking his phone. The break between parts one and two always gives him a few more minutes than usual, so he uses that time to check his messages since he doesn’t have a guest with him that day.

**Donghyuck:**  
Do you only know how to play our songs? ㅋㅋㅋ (9:29 PM)

I’m streaming to help you win!  
Bring me a signed copy next comeback btw  
ㅠㅠ (9:30 PM)

ㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
But you don’t need an album  
You already have me and that’s worth more (9:30 PM)

Are you sure about that? ㅋㅋㅋ  
Music is ending!  
Need to go back (9:31 PM)

Good luck!  
I’m listening to you right now, so send me a message on air ㅋㅋ (9:32 PM)  
_(read)_

* * *

It’s Monday night and they’re outside of the radio booth, in a little waiting room just by themselves while they wait for their time slot.

It’s one of the few moments they have away from the cameras and other people around him, Jaemin having excused himself to go to the bathroom.

“Is it too hard?” Renjun asks him, gently, fiddling with his script. “I’ve been seeing your face a lot on the TV. You must be very tired.”

Donghyuck doesn’t sigh, but he rests his face on the palm of his hand and Renjun can feel the weight of his gaze, so he lifts his eyes away from the script to look at him. It feels wrong to not look at Donghyuck in those kinds of moments.

“A little,” Donghyuck confesses. Renjun can see the deep eyebags even under the layers of make-up he was sporting now. “But it’ll be all worth it later. I’m just glad we’re getting all these opportunities.”

“I’m happy that your company decided to stop being shitty and are sending you all on these programs.”

A smile tugs the corner of Donghyuck’s lips. “Hmm… Let’s see until when they can keep going on like this.”

Jaemin enters the room with a loud laugh and a colorful bottle of water in his hand. “A staff said that the fans outside gave it to me!” He exclaims, showing them off his bottle. “Look at all these cute stickers!”

When they enter the radio booth, Renjun looks around, awed.

It’s a new place, one he never had gone to before — reserved for the bigger DJs and more important guests. It’s all sleek chairs and hand-picked accessories in random places. But, most importantly, there’s a big window wall on the side, one that’s currently covered by a curtain, but Renjun can see the movements of fans waiting on the other side, cameras probably raised and ready to go at the first sight of movement.

Donghyuck looks around and whistles. “Are we having some big guests today?”

“I didn’t see anything about a guest on my script,” Jaemin replies, frowning a little. He gets closer to the curtains, but then steps back when he hears the muttering on the other side increase.

“They’re here for you,” Renjun says. He walks around the desk and sits down on the main DJ chair, hands splayed open over the desk. He sees on the monitor the stream playing just a picture of them three, cameras still off at the moment. “DREAM’s getting quite a bit of traction, so the producer decided to upgrade a little.”

Donghyuck chokes. “This is for _us?_ ”

“Yeah… Your fans are on the other side, I guess, since they weren’t crowding on the entrance today. So… liking our new place?”

Jaemin sits down on a chair, wide-eyed. “I’ll miss my old chair but… _Wow_.”

Renjun watches Donghyuck wander around a little bit, fingertips sliding across the table extension. He sits down on his usual place, on Renjun’s left side.

“It’s kinda weird,” he ends up saying.

Renjun smiles a little. “I guess you’ll have to thank me. I’m sure it’s all the streaming I’m doing on your songs…”

Donghyuck snorts with his teasing and Jaemin chuckles a little, eyes still focused on the curtained wall.

“Ah…” Donghyuck drawls, eyes warm. “What would we do without you, Renjunnie?” His voice is sickeningly sweet in his own way of teasing and Renjun rolls his eyes, good-naturedly.

“If you need anything, just tell me. I’m a one-man army,” he jokes. “One text and I’ll go rescue you.”

Donghyuck grins. “My saviour.”

The staff outside of the booth signalizes with one hand open and the stream changes into the live video, their intro song playing. Another movement of her hand and the curtains starts to rise up automatically, camera flashes temporarily blinding them all.

* * *

**Hyuck:**

Are you free anytime soon?  
Wanna go grab some coffee? (3:57 PM)

* * *

@dreamtrans0825: Someone spotted Hyuck at a café with his radio co-host Renjun! OP said they were there for a while and laughing. @/azlkdshak187632

* * *

It comes out of nowhere.

DREAM’s song goes viral overnight and their promotions are extended. Soon, whenever Renjun turns on the TV, he’ll see one of the boys’ as a guest of some show, he will hear their song playing on the street as he walks around.

They’re all ecstatic, over the moon, and Renjun can barely understand what they scream over the phone. It’s all they ever dreamed of when training—recognition.

The radio station fills with even more fans, and Renjun shudders with the number of cameras focused on them on the other side of the glass wall, the number of viewers on their live broadcast going up more and more.

So it comes as no surprise when Donghyuck and Jaemin have to withdraw from their position as special DJs, a small tour booking their entire schedules, and making them unable to fly over countries just for a weekly night segment on a small radio.

Donghyuck says that the company wants them to ride on the wave of their newfound popularity, so they rush through all the preparations.

One week later and Renjun is back to his old radio booth, the familiar setting greeting him once again after a long time. It was just one night a week they were working together, but Renjun feels their absence in the other parts of his life—his messages stay unread for hours and hours, and he doesn’t go out to eat that much.

It only makes him realize how closed off to others he became, how his social circle decreased more since his group disbanded. It’s a good opportunity to make amends and contact older friends, he finds out. He types some messages and even suffers through an awkward two-hour call. It’s not much, but at least it’s something.

Some of the DREAM’s members contact him before leaving for the airport, thanking him for his messages of good luck. Later, the pictures of them departing the country is all over his social media.

Everyone’s talking about them.

* * *

**Hyuck:**

First week just ended and things are sooo crazy right now!!  
I still can’t believe this is all happening!!! (12:41 AM)

You guys deserve it so much!  
Have lots of fun and bring me some gifts ㅋㅋ (8:47 AM)

**Hyuck:**

_[image]_

_[image]_

That’s so pretty! Where is it? (3:08 PM)

Manila! (7:58 PM)

**Hyuck:**

_[image]_

_[image]_

_[image]_

**Hyuck:**

Aren’t you gonna have viewable radio anymore? ㅠㅠㅠ (10:14 PM)

Nah  
That’s just for you guys and your fans ㅋㅋ  
Why? (12:09 AM)

Wanted to see you!!  
It’s been so long ㅠ_ㅠ (12:26 AM)

Don’t be dumb  
Just video call me ㅋㅋㅋ (12:28 AM)

:0  
Can I call you now? (12:29 AM)

Yeah (12:29 AM)

**Hyuck:**

Dead tired but look!

_[image]_

Cute, right? (03:03 AM)

Ah ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
Yes ㅋㅋㅋ  
You’re cute (10:38 AM)

**Hyuck:**

Just got another message of someone missing Sun-D! ㅋㅋㅋ  
Hope everything is going well!  
Saw some videos and you guys just don’t stoppp  
Even at the encore you all are still jumping so much ㅋㅋㅋㅋ (11:58 PM)

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Thanks!!! (04:15 AM)

**Hyuck:**

Why are you still playing our song?  
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
The promotions already ended  
You don’t need to stream anymore  
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ (9:37 PM)

Quiet  
I’m trying to support my idols  
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ (10:43 PM)

You still listen to my radio? (10:47 PM)

I’m trying to support my idols :P (12:01 AM)

**Hyuck:**

Is my best friend still alive? ㅠㅠ  
Don’t be sad!!  
I’ll be coming back next week!!! (06:06 AM)

Ah… Are you sure you can’t stay away for longer?  
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ (11:29 AM)

Let’s go out together after you come back! (11:35 AM)

It’s a date ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ (05:01 PM)

Ah........  
Lee Donghyuck........... (06:08 PM)

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
Jisungie wants hot pot!  
Are you free next Wednesday? (06:58 PM)

Yes!! (07:03 PM)

* * *

**Hyuck:**

Where are you? I can’t find you (2:58 AM)

I’m parked next to the big tree In front of the pink building  
The car is unlocked (2:59 AM)

Renjun sees him approaching from far away.

The streets are less crowded at that hour, but there are still people walking around and one can never be too careful. Donghyuck’s figure is drowning in a big hoodie, the hood pulled over his head and black mask hiding most of his features besides his eyes. He jogs quickly to the side of the car, pulling open the door and sticking his head inside.

“Renjun?” He asks, voice muffled by the mask, eyes narrowed and straining to see in the dark.

“Hey.”

Renjun briefly turns on the light on the ceiling of the vehicle, just long enough for Donghyuck to be able to see him and his surroundings, before turning it right off. Donghyuck slides into the passenger seat, slamming the door close behind him, his tense expression setting into something a little more relaxed.

They don’t say anything while Renjun turns on the ignition and starts to drive away through the blinding streets of Seoul. The radio is off and there’s only the sound of the wind ringing in Renjun’s ear, paired with the weight of Donghyuck’s stare upon him. He tries to drive a little smoother than he usually would.

“I always wanted to learn how to drive.”

Renjun hums. The buildings pass quickly by them, their colorful lights coating the car’s interior. He remembers when he officially turned an adult and couldn’t wait to drive around.

“Me too. I got my license after my group disbanded,” he says. “Didn’t have enough time and no need before—our manager would always drive around for us.”

“Yeah, it’s just like that.”

There’s something about driving in silence when it's the middle of the night, when the sun hasn’t risen yet and the city seems to be asleep, sharing a small space with a comforting company that speaks about a kind of intimacy that Renjun had never experienced before. He likes it.

“When we get some free time I’ll try to learn…” Donghyuck mumbles.

Renjun glances quickly to the side; Donghyuck is sprawled back on the seat, but his head is still tilted and his heavy gaze is upon him. Renjun turns back to the front, swallowing dryly.

“Maybe I could teach you.”

They arrive at Han River and Renjun parks in a secluded area with trees. It’s a cliché and familiar place to them both, but Renjun couldn’t think of anywhere else when Donghyuck had texted him and asked if he was free. It had been left unsaid between the _“a little stressed”_ and _“need some time”_ how he really felt, but Renjun could see from his tense shoulders and bitten lips the stress rolling out from him in waves, threatening to drown anyone who’d get close enough.

Seoul js a big city, so it wasn’t surprising to see people walking or sitting on benches, talking, even if it was past three am. They walk on the empty cycling trail until they find a place with no people around and they sit down on the grass.

Donghyuck draws his knees close to his chest and takes off his mask, stuffing it inside his pocket.

“I snapped at them today.” He says after a while, chin resting on the top of his knees and gaze focused on the bright skyline across the river. “Almost made Jisungie cry. Then Mark pulled me to the side and tried to make me see the situation, but I was too mad to understand it all.”

Renjun stretches his legs in front of him, fiddling with the grass. He looks to the side, eyeing Donghyuck’s side profile, and rolls a single blade of grass between his fingertips.

“At least I had the mind to go away and not blow up on them, making everything even worse. It’s not their fault—I’m just overthinking everything about this comeback. There’s too much on the line and I couldn’t cope with the pressure.”

“Do you still feel like blowing up?”

Donghyuck inhales deeply. “No. It felt like that at first—just growing and growing, but then… It all fizzled out. Instead of a balloon popping, it just deflated.”

The blade of grass falls from his fingers and blends with the others on the ground. Renjun plucks another one.

“What are you going to do?”

“Swallow my pride and apologize,” Donghyuck says after a pause, still staring ahead of him. “It was entirely my fault and I can’t let this hang over the team when we’re so close to the comeback; it would only fuck us all and make it weird.”

The harsh wind makes the hood fly off Donghyuck’s head, his bleached hair getting messy with the breeze. Renjun drops the blade of grass and tugs the hood over his head, smoothening the fabric.

“Your hair is _so_ bright.”

Donghyuck smiles a little, hugging his legs even closer to his chest. “I think I might end up bald by next year.”

Renjun snorts. “I was platinum blonde for almost two years and I still have hair left,” he tugs one lock of his black hair. “So I think you’ll survive.”

“You had blonde hair?” Donghyuck turns away from the view for the first time since they got there, facing him with wide eyes. “I think you had, like, brown hair when we met? I don’t remember ever seeing you blonde, though?”

“No? Wait—I think I might have some pictures here,” Renjun says, fishing out his phone from his pocket.

He’s swiping through his gallery when he feels fingers brushing the end of his hair, a hesitant touch wavering in the air.

“I’m trying to imagine a bad look on you but I guess you’re just one of these people who can rock any hair style.”

Renjun chuckles and shakes his head. “Once I had green and red streaks for a Christmas festival. It wasn’t pretty.”

Renjun shows him a picture and Donghyuck leans closer to him, watching as he swipes through the gallery. He shows Donghyuck some selfies (the good ones) and some group shots, pausing longer on the cute animal pictures he had saved.

“I’m glad I met you, Renjunnie,” Donghyuck says between a shot of a cute kitten licking its paw and a pre-debut Renjun with curly hair. His voice is casual and light, and Renjun’s finger pauses mid-air for only a second before he continues to swipe. “It’s hard to meet new people and connect with them in this industry, so I’m really, _really_ happy that you’re my friend and are always by my side.”

Renjun briefly thinks about how strongly he felt Donghyuck’s absence in his life when he was on tour. Thinks about his former members and how only some of them are still in touch, about the emptiness in his life he fills with the radio — but he doesn't want to dwell on that, doesn't want to think how things might have turned out to be if he didn't have random dinners with Chenle, random shopping outings with Jaemin.

“I’m really glad I met you too.”

* * *

[BREAKING] DREAM Releases New Mini-Album & MV

[+415 / -189] I love it so much ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

[+387 / -163] It’s their best song yet!!!

[+152 / -265] ㅋㅋㅋnuguㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+134 / -301] Aren’t they the ones with the bullying rumors? ㅋㅋ

[+87 / -32] LEE JENO ㅠㅠㅠ I LOVE YOU ㅠㅠ

[+37 / -49] Why do they keep releasing so many albums?

* * *

Renjun is surprised when he walks inside the waiting room and finds the entire group already there. They’re early—even earlier than him.

The album has been officially released for only a few hours, but they’re already in the radio station, starting their promotions once again.

“Oh—hey, guys. Congratulations on the new album!” Renjun exclaims, putting down on the table his own copy of the script and his cup of coffee.

Jaemin is the one closest to him and immediately embraces him, a chorus of “Thanks” echoing around them. Renjun makes sure to go and hug every single one of them.

“I was streaming the album on my way here, and I need to say… I think this one might be my favorite title track yet.”

Chenle beams from his place on the couch, though he doesn’t lift his eyes from his phone.

“Thank you, hyung,” Jisung says, fiddling with some frays of his ripped jeans.

They all have new hairstyles and are wearing heavy make-up. It doesn’t matter that it’s night and the viewable radio’s quality isn’t the best—Renjun saw the enormous quantity of fans standing around the place and heard the stories about the struggle of trying to secure a place behind the glass wall.

They’re a group receiving lots of attention at the moment and they need to be ready for everything. Appearing bare-faced and in comfortable clothes on a radio, the day your new album drops, would only result in getting articles written about you and hate comments.

“ _Hyuck_ ,” Jeno whispers and Renjun’s attention snaps towards them. They both were standing close to the other couch and whispering to each other, but Donghyuck tugs something out of Jeno’s hand and stalks closer to Renjun, sporting a big grin and shining eyes.

“Since you asked for it _so_ much before,” Donghyuck says in a teasing voice, depositing something on Renjun’s hand. “Here’s your signed album.”

Renjun can’t help but laugh out loud, shoulders shaking with mirth. It really is a signed copy with all the boys’ autographs on the cover, their names coated in silver ink shining under the bright lights.

Donghyuck is almost jumping in place, hands hovering over the album. “Look,” he exclaims. “See who you got!”

“Thanks, guys,” Renjun says smiling, quickly looking at the other boys. “You didn’t need to, but I’ll keep it safe.”

“Look who you got!” Donghyuck says again. “See the photocard!”

Renjun obliges and opens the album, flipping through the pages of the photobook until he finds the photocard and lifts it up. “I got yours, Jeno!” Jeno smiles from the sofa, lifting his eyes up from the script he was reading. “I saw you’re very popular this comeback,” Renjun comments, focused on reading the message on the back of his photocard.

When he looks at Donghyuck again, there’s just a hint of a pout before the boy wipes it away and takes the album from his hands, turning the pages until he finds something and puts it back in his hands.

Renjun looks back down. “ _‘Thanks to…’_ ” he reads out loud and Donghyuck huffs dramatically, tapping his finger on his part.

 _Haechan_ , it reads. Under his name, there’s a paragraph with his thanks to all the people who helped him and others he wanted to give a shout-out to. And there, close to the end, Renjun sees his name.

_‘...and to my great friend and forever source of comfort, Renjunnie; may I also help you through your hardships as you do with me.”_

He makes a sound on the back of his throat, surprised. “What…”

“A special message for my biggest fan,” Donghyuck says, voice dripping with pleasure.

Renjun looks and looks but his name doesn’t change. It’s still there. His eyes catch the little silver heart — done with the same marker used on the autographs — just next to the sentence with his name. He almost touches it with the tip of his finger, but catches himself in the last second.

When he lifts his head, Donghyuck is already looking at him, eyes crinkled and a shy smile curling up on his lips.

* * *

@ASRadio: _[image]_ A very special thanks to our guests today @DREAM_twt !  
#DREAMComeback #OnlyYou #ASRadio  
↳ @sunshineshyucks: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
↳ @lovelydream: guys go stream the song!!! let’s get them #1!!!

@ASRadio: Don’t forget to check out @DREAM_twt first live performance of their new song #OnlyYou  
https://youtu.be/vofjeJvRT9c  
#DREAMComeback #OnlyYou #ASRadio  
↳ @0423jen0423jen: drop the fancam link!!!!  
↳ @ch3nj1bff5: LKAKSDSAKJSJASK

@ASRadio: _[images]_ The pictures taken by @DREAM_twt on their break!  
#DREAMComeback #OnlyYou #ASRadio  
↳ @najae_minnie: why only hyuck and this guy got a pic together?? i love 6dream but i also want to see my ships :(  
↳ @babypwarkji: @najae_minnie ?????? he’s the host??? and hyuck is his friend??? they legit worked together for months???  
↳ @ceozhong: i’m 100% sure that the 3rd pic (the shaky one) was taken by mark lol

* * *

**Hyuck:**

_[image]_

HYUCK  
OH MY GOD HYUCK!!!  
ARE YOU SEEING THIS  
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!  
I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU  
THIS IS AMAZING  
HOW DOES IT FEEL BEING A #1 SINGER???  
LET’S CELEBRATE LATER YOUR HARD WORK!!!  
I’M SHAKING HEREㅋㅋㅋ  
ARE YOU EVEN AWAKE RN? (11:03 PM) _(read)_

Hyuck? (11:06 PM)

Are you home? (11:07 PM)

Yeah  
Why? (11:09 PM)

Can I go there? (11:09 PM)

I’ll let the door unlocked for you (11:10 PM)

Renjun is by his little kitchen area when he hears the beeping sound of a code being input and of his door being unlocked.

“I’m here,” Donghyuck says, sounding distant.

“I’m in the kitchen!”

It takes almost no time before Donghyuck appears by his side, hair looking disheveled and lips bitten red.

“Have you eaten yet?”

Donghyuck shakes his head no, so Renjun makes a portion for him, instructing him to get a bowl from the cupboard.

They sit on the couch, in front of the TV that’s showing a random variety show. Though Donghyuck looks jittery and not that well, Renjun decides that it’s best to wait for him to gather his thoughts and talk when he feels like it. At least, Donghyuck is eating—and that’s one less thing he can worry about.

It takes a while. After finishing eating a second portion, Donghyuck speaks just when Renjun’s sitting back down on the couch, having tidied up the kitchen.

“I panicked,” he says. Renjun frowns a little, rearranging his position; his elbow digs on the back of the sofa and he rests his cheek on the palm of his hand. “Everyone was so happy, and screaming, and celebrating… and I should be doing that too, I should be jumping together with them but… I could only keep thinking about the broadcast tomorrow and how many people are going to be watching and… and then I couldn’t stop thinking about that. How many people are watching us and waiting for the second one of us slips to make all of this end.”

Donghyuck looks to the TV for a moment, but he changes his position and turns to sit facing Renjun, hands splayed open over his thighs.

“But I don’t want that. I don’t want to keep having these kinds of thoughts and having all this pressure that _I_ am putting on myself. I know it’s not—it’s not healthy.”

Renjun nods. “It’s only natural that with more people finding out about you guys you’re gonna feel this burden of needing to please them, but you can’t let this own you. People will come and go, but it’s important that you stay true to yourself _and_ take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, I just… just saw our song climbing up on the charts and I _was_ happy, but I also thought that so many people are going to see that, and with that much attention, people will scrutinize our every move even more. And I just got insecure. Which sucks, because I know we did a good job, and I know everyone has been working hard, but I can’t help that’s what I felt right after.”

“You want people to notice you, but with their attention, there will also be lots of negative attention. It’s only natural. But it’s hard to deal with it and—god, I’m saying all this but I never even lived a _slice_ of what’s happening with you right now,” Renjun says, shaking his head with a small smile. “I’m trying to help you, but I have no idea what it must truly feel like. Sorry if I’m just talking shit here.”

Donghyuck chuckles a little and moves his hand. “I get what you’re trying to say. And _thank you_. I guess I just needed to rant a little with someone who’s not involved in the situation. It’s not the same with one of the boys.”

They talk more, and when it comes the time for the freezing of the charts, they wait with a baited breath until the last update. Renjun jumps up and pulls on Donghyuck’s arms for him to stand up too when the clock turns to _01:00 AM_ , reading the news from his phone.

It’s still there, in the first place. _Only You._

Donghyuck indulges him and celebrates with him, shrieking with laughter when Renjun stumbles mid-jump and ends up half-sprawled on the couch and half-sprawled on the floor. Donghyuck tugs him up and then Renjun is jumping again, hissing between his teeth with the aching he feels every time he lands again on the floor. But Donghyuck is happy again—at least for the moment, smiling wide and eyes almost closed, and that’s enough for Renjun. He can handle a few moments of discomfort because of that.

* * *

The phone rings and rings, but Donghyuck ignores it every time.

“Just turn it off, god,” Renjun mutters when the device starts ringing again.

“I can’t,” Donghyuck mutters dejectedly. “Or the manager will be an even more pain in my ass. But we’re almost there, just a little bit.”

Renjun doesn’t answer, focused on driving through the busy streets of Seoul. The sun had risen just a while ago, but the city was wide awake. Just like Donghyuck’s members who felt his missing presence in the dorm.

“Stop sighing so much, you’re stealing all the air from inside here.”

Renjun snorts. “God. That doesn’t even _make sense_. Just be quiet and thankful that I’m doing this.” He can’t see Donghyuck’s expression but he’s sure the boy’s pouting. “And don’t make that face—stop pouting.”

“You’re not even looking at me,” Donghyuck teases. “You can’t complain if you can’t see what I’m doing.”

Renjun turns quickly to face him and sees that Donghyuck is smiling in his direction.

“Eyes on the road, mister.”

“Shut up,” Renjun mutters. “If you don’t have a license you can’t talk.”

The phone rings again and cuts whatever Donghyuck was going to say, but this time he picks it up. _“What? I told you I’m close! Just a few more minutes… No, I’m not answering him yet. Fuck, he’s close? Just say that I’m stuck shitting in the bathroom and my phone’s in my bedroom._ ”

Renjun didn’t need to hear anything else or wait for Donghyuck to ask him to speed up, his feet already pressing harder on the gas pedal. It makes him arrive at Donghyuck’s dorm in what he feels is like a world record, and Donghyuck is almost out of the car before he can even bring it to a full stop.

“Good luck on the broadcast!” Renjun yells from inside the vehicle.

“ _Thanks!”_ Donghyuck shouts back, already running inside the building without looking back, phone in his hands ringing once more.

Renjun sighs, maybe a little too fondly for the situation. _What an idiot._

* * *

It’s a little over one week later when Renjun finds himself in the backstage of a music broadcast. It’s been a long time since he last was in one.

He’s not there to perform this time, but as a source of comfort. With him, he brings food and drinks to the staff and the DREAM members.

When he knocks on the door, nobody comes to open it for him, but it doesn’t surprise him because he can hear all the noise inside — too many people doing too many things at the same time.

It takes a little of fumbling, but he manages to open the door even with the heavy bags hanging from his arms and hands, staggering inside with a breathy “ _Hey, everyone_.”

Donghyuck knew he’d be going there — he was the one that had talked with the staff and got all the permission he needed —, but he still acts surprised when he sees him, standing up from the make-up chair while gasping.

“Hyung!”

Chenle almost throws himself over him and Renjun struggles to not let the bags fall to the floor or let Chenle drop, groaning with the strain. Mark comes to help him, taking the bags away and greeting him enthusiastically.

“Didn’t Hyuck tell you I’d be coming?” He asks and only receives some heads shaking as an answer, the boys already too busy with going through the bags and stuffing themselves with food.

He looks at Donghyuck confused, but Donghyuck is back at the make-up chair, scratching the back of his neck and smiling sheepishly through the reflection as he catches his eyes. “Wasn’t sure if you’d come,” he says.

They all get ready for the live performance. It strikes Renjun how different things are when you’re not the one in the spotlight and getting ready, having all the attention upon you. It’s strange and it makes him a little uncomfortable at being on the other side, still not used to that.

Soon it’s time for their performance. Renjun watches, with the staff, from a little TV screen in the waiting room. It goes smoothly and as soon as the boys come back, there’s a flurry of movement where the staff tries to tend to all of them and make them perfect again before they’ll go back on stage for the ending ceremony.

Renjun sees Jisung struggling with pocketing some confetti and he goes to help him, all the other boys too busy having their make-up retouched or hair styled.

“Are you guys nominated for the first place today?”

Jisung nods, a nervous smile forming on his face. “Yeah. I’m trying not to have any expectations but…” he bites his lip and stops talking. Renjun understands.

He pats Jisung on the shoulder, squeezing gently. “Good luck. I’ll be rooting for you.”

Donghyuck catches his eye and is walking in his direction, but a staff comes inside the room and ushers them back to the stage before he can say anything.

The tension in the room as they wait for the results is palpable. Renjun wonders if that’s how all the fans feel before the announcement. His heart beats so fast and his hands are so clammy that it almost feels like _he’s_ the one up there on stage, waiting, but when he looks around he sees that most of the staff share the same feeling as him.

The announcement seems to last years, though Renjun knows it must have taken just a few seconds, but soon enough the faces of the DREAM’s members are being displayed on the TV screen with another group.

Renjun doesn’t get to see the numbers that show up on the screen, the staff in front of him jumping up and down and blocking his view, but he can hear it echoing in his ear, the screams from the staff and the fans outside. They had won.

He barely sees the TV with all the staff walking and hugging each other, but can hear the choking noises and the boys’ stuttering thanks before _Only You_ is playing and the show ends.

It almost feels like a lifetime later before they finally come back to the waiting room, faces red and tear tracks still on their cheeks, smiling wide, and Jisung holding a golden trophy in his hand. The room erupts in applause and whistling noises, the boys getting attacked by hugs and pats on the backs from all directions.

Renjun doesn’t see Donghyuck before he’s hugging him tight, _literally_ sweeping him off his feet and twirling him around.

“Hyuck! _Hyuck_!” Renjun shrieks, laughing, and slapping him on the back to stop.

Donghyuck lets him go just enough for Renjun to put his feet back on the floor before he’s diving back into another hug, arms enlacing around his waist. He can hear Donghyuck’s excited laugh on his ear, the sound vibrating on his chest and making his body shiver.

“Hyuck! Congratulations!”

It takes a long time for all of them to calm down enough to take a group picture to post on social media. By then, Renjun already had hugged every single one of them, taking his time to praise them, and even got to hold the trophy for a minute or two.

Donghyuck soon is back on clinging to him, talking too fast and too loud about something with Jaemin across the room while backhugging Renjun on the sofa, his chin resting over his shoulder. Usually, Renjun would complain and try to pry him off of him, to play hard with him until he accepted it, but Donghyuck is so ecstatic, so agitated and unable to quiet down, that Renjun just lets him have this small victory.

Later, the boys are getting ready to depart and go to a restaurant, a dinner called by the higher people in their company in order to celebrate their achievement. Renjun doesn’t get the chance to refuse the invitation when Donghyuck is squeezing his hand and Chenle is looking at him with puppy-like eyes.

It’s a little weird being there in the middle of so many people he doesn’t know. Truly, the only people Renjun knows there — besides the staff from earlier that day — were the DREAM members and their manager, but it’s easy to relax in the chill atmosphere and bask in their happiness.

Hours later and they’re still thrumming with excitement, big smiles on their faces and bright eyes, breaking off in giggles whenever there’s a second of silence.

Donghyuck is sitting by his side and he beams when Renjun looks at him — and Renjun can’t help but smile back.

* * *

@DREAM_twt: _[image]_ Thank you so much, everyone! We will always work harder and harder!  
↳ @chenleking: congratulations! #DREAMs1stwin  
↳ @nominsworld: why they blurred the staffs’ face but not that one guy by hyuck’s side?  
↳ @dreamjisungiii: @nominsworld he’s a radio dj at @ASRadio and hyuck’s friend !!!  
↳ @sunshinejen0: @dreamjisungiii why he’s there with them? i’m new to the fandom sorry!  
↳ @dreamjisungiii: @sunshinejen0: idk :( but he and hyuck are bffs!! hyuck is always talking about him and even included his name on the ‘thanks to’ in this album <3

* * *

It’s a sunny day with enough wind to make a perfect day for a picnic. Renjun has never been in one before, but he imagines that’s what a perfect picnic mood must feel like as he lays under the tree shade, Donghyuck’s jacket serving as a pillow for his head.

He doesn’t remember when his eyes slipped shut, but he isn't sleeping — he can hear the children playing at the distance, the sound of birds chirping above them, the humming of Donghyuck by his side, singing an unknown melody. With the warmth emanating from the ground and the smell of flowers around him, Renjun can almost pretend he’s stuck in a dream.

But he isn’t. He opens his eyes and his phone is vibrating with messages about his job later. He opens his eyes and Donghyuck is busy texting his manager about his upcoming schedule.

Dreaming is something reserved for the night or when he’s inside his home, phone far away from him, and he can pretend that there’s nothing more important than what's in front of him when he’s using his hands to cook something from scratch, with nothing else trying to get his attention.

But here—even though he closes his eyes for a moment and _imagines_ , the responsibilities always crawl through the little spaces to bother and remind him that real life doesn’t wait for anyone.

The sun still shine, the birds still sing. Renjun takes a deep breath and sits up, hands carding through his hair in order to settle it down.

Donghyuck looks up from his phone with his movement, lips forming a small smile around the straw in his mouth, and then he looks back to his phone, drinking his coffee.

“How are you?” Renjun asks, sometime later after Donghyuck finished his drink and came back from throwing his trash away.

Donghyuck tilts his head to the side, one eyebrow lifting. “Okay?”

“No. I mean, how _are_ you?”

Renjun watches how Donghyuck starts to pick apart some threads from their rented picnic blanket. “Tired. Exhausted. Shitty. It’s been a week since the promotions cycle ended but I’m still waking up in a hurry as if I’m late. And then I see Jeno sleeping across the room and I remember that we’re on a break, but then I can’t sleep again.”

“You’re overworking yourself again, aren’t you?”

Donghyuck suddenly smiles, looking down at his hands, and Renjun knows he had caught him red-handed. “Hmm… If I answer this will you try to drill a speech into my head?”

“Depends on your answer,” Renjun teases, but when Donghyuck looks up and catches his eye, they both know that he wouldn’t start something just to make him feel even worse. They both know what Donghyuck is doing, and they both know he wouldn’t simply stop just because Renjun wanted him to.

Donghyuck yanks another stray thread and Renjun lays his hand over Donghyuck’s, trapping it between his palm and the blanket. “It’s rented.”

“ _Oops_.”

Renjun lifts his hand and smoothes the fabric when Donghyuck moves his hands away, resting them over his thighs.

“I’m doing something more productive than just practicing the same thing over and over again,” Donghyuck proclaims in a tone too casual to be anything but it. “Mark said something to me a while ago and it got me thinking, so I decided to really learn how to make music. I mean, I always wanted to help with the lyrics and so, you know that,” Renjun nods his head to indicate he was listening, “but I started with composition now. It’s hard, but it’s also very fun… so maybe that’s also something that’s taking my sleep away.”

Renjun brushes his fingertips over the picnic blanket and hums. It almost feels like he could still sense the warmth Donghyuck’s hand had left behind.

“Does that mean soon we can hear some music made by DREAM’s Haechan?” He says, the corner of his lip curling up. “But really, that’s great Hyuck. I’m so happy you’re doing this.”

Donghyuck bites his bottom lip, the shadow of a frown making its way on his brow. Renjun knows that it means he wants to ask something he isn’t sure if he should, so he waits, leaning back against the tree and opening a water bottle.

“Do you plan to go back to music?”

Renjun breathes out. He thinks about some of his former members and how they’re getting ready to re-debut in a new group; thinks about how he clung to the radio as if it was his only hope and got busy with it as a host and working on the inside; thinks about how he missed the stage but how hard it was to have a chance to be _seen_.

“I don’t know,” he answers truthfully, putting away the water bottle. “It’d be harder now, I think. It’s been a long time since I last stepped on the stage and I have no connections in the industry. I think I might be a little older to re-debut in a group—idols now are _so_ young.”

“That’s bullshit,” Donghyuck retorts. “You have so many connections because of the radio. And it doesn’t matter how long it has been. Look at all these groups that comeback from years and years of hiatus! And you’re not _old_ —are you calling me old then?”

Renjun chuckles and shakes his head. “Well… But you know you _did_ debut later, right? We are the same age, but while my career was ending, you were just debuting.”

Donghyuck waves a hand. “Tell that to Mark who’s even older. And you can’t say that, look at me,” he nudges his cheeks. “I could be debuting _now_. Fucking adorable. You say you’re old like you’re on your life’s last breath but you’re not even, like, twenty-five yet to be having a mid-quarter crisis.”

Renjun shrugs.

“But Junnie, answer me truthfully… Do you wanna go back into music? Like, ignore everything—don’t think about age, or success, or connections. If you had the chance now to perform again, would you do it?”

It surprises Renjun how quickly the answer jumps out to the front of his mind, lips mouthing the word, just realizing what he had said when he hears his own voice, “Yes.”

But that’s a dream in a hypothetical world where nothing matters. Things are very different in reality and Renjun knows that.

Donghyuck looks at him as if he’s searching for something, but Renjun doesn’t know what it is that he wants.

“I hope you get the opportunities to showcase your talent and do what you love.”

Renjun swallows, his throat dry. He loves the radio and everything it entails, but there’s an itch on his soul that only performing can ease, and it’s been _so long_. He wonders if he’d be brave enough if the opportunity ever arrived.

So Renjun clears his throat and the subject is finished. No more talking about that for the moment.

And Donghyuck knows—he always knows. Renjun sometimes thinks that Donghyuck could probably read him better than even himself. It’s a strange thought to know that you’ve been so vulnerable and open with someone that they can understand almost every side of you.

So Donghyuck smiles, the mood changes, and the sun still shine bright in the sky.

Not a perfect day because nothing is perfect in this life, but sometimes it almost feels like it.

* * *

@KPOPNEWS: Haechan (@DREAM_twt) was seen together with a non-famous person on a picnic today!  
Read more at: https://bit.ly/3d0VlZ5  
↳ @hyucklesdaughter: WTF  
↳ @squishyyydreamyyy: that’s renjun from @ASRadio and he’s hyuck’s friend!!!! stop spreading fake info!!!!  
↳ @floweryhyucks: that’s ridiculous? why blurry his face? he was an idol and is a radio dj now?

@KPOPNEWS: Who was the mysterious person that Haechan (DREAM_twt) was meeting?  
Read more at: https://bit.ly/3d0VlZ5  
↳ @sun___ji: don’t click the link guys! don’t give them views! dream’s getting more attention and ppl are trying to start rumours!  
↳ @jenoslees: STOP ↳ @chenlelele: why are people doing this to haechan? he doesn’t deserve it

* * *

“ _You’re not busy. I know you’re doing that puzzle again,”_ Donghyuck’s voice echoes in his room and Renjun smiles at the phone even though Donghyuck can’t see him.

“Yeah? How do you know that?”

_“You told me yesterday you couldn’t find some of the pieces and you haven’t sent a picture yet, so I’m sure it’s not completed. Come on, Junnie. You’re not doing anything, so come keep me company.”_

Renjun rolls his eyes and steps away from the table. He kneels down and tries to look for the missing pieces on the floor. “I’m telling you, they’re gonna kick me out one of these days because we keep eating the food and, unlike you, I don’t work there for it to be justifiable.”

 _“They’re not gonna do this,”_ by this point Donghyuck is almost whining into the phone, voice an octave higher than normal. _“So come. I think I’m finishing this one song and I want you to hear it here, not through some shitty phone sound system.”_

“That’s, like, one of the worst excuses you ever made. And you’ve done _lots_ of them.”

Donghyuck pauses for a moment and then, _“...but did it work?_ ”

Renjun gets up and huffs, picking his phone from the table and turning off the speaker mode. “Ugh. You better have some food waiting for me when I arrive there.”

When Renjun finally gets to Donghyuck’s small studio inside of his company, he walks inside without knocking just to find Donghyuck lying down on the floor and with his phone in hands.

“What are you _doing_?”

Donghyuck almost jumps in the air in his hurry to sit up, hitting his chair in the process.

“Ow—shit— _hey_.”

Renjun snorts and moves to sit down on the couch just big enough to seat three people almost on top of each other. The studio is on the smaller side, but Donghyuck tried to decorate it a way that it’s just _him_. There’s no other way that Renjun can find it to describe the orderly chaos that is the space.

Donghyuck sits and swivels around on his chair, stopping it in front of Renjun, a wireless headphone in his hands. “You were taking so long that I almost started doing another live.”

Renjun takes the headphone from his hands and places it over his ears. “Have some pity on your fans—you’ve been releasing so much content that even _I_ can’t keep up with it. How can I retain my title of the biggest supporter when I don’t even know what you’re doing anymore?” He asks dramatically, putting a show of holding Donghyuck’s hands and squeezing them. “Like, I found out _yesterday_ that you released a song in one of your lives? The one that had my voice in it? Dude, you need to _tell me_ these kinds of things!”

Barking out a laugh, Donghyuck squeezes his hand back and enlaces their fingers. Donghyuck’s headphones are of very good quality, so Renjun needs to focus to understand what he says. “It was actually a mistake. I was just going to play some seconds and couldn’t stop the program from playing everything.”

Renjun laughs, throwing back his head. Donghyuck lets go of his hands to turn back to his computer, pressing something that Renjun can’t see.

Before a melody can play in his ears, Donghyuck rotates once more, just enough to catch his eyes and smirk. “Ready to listen to a new masterpiece?”

* * *

@kingjeno: _[video]_ hyuck and his friend are so good! their harmonies!  
↳ @sunsfull omg oomf just went viral

* * *

It’s not weird to see some fans standing outside of the radio station. Usually, there’s a bigger number of them when a famous guest is coming — and since he helps to organize the radio’s schedule, Renjun knows when to avoid the big streets and to prepare for the horde of fans in the front of the building.

There isn't a guest coming today but there are more people there. Renjun recognizes the usual people who come to greet him, waving to some who have followed him since his debut, and even striking a pose to the cameras.

But the sight of more people than usual makes him confused. He’s pretty sure there was nothing in the script saying something about guests.

The people walk close to him, clutching their phones to their chest — and Renjun knows they’re filming every single move of him — and follow his steps until the front of the building.

“Hi, Renjun-oppa!”

“Good luck on the radio today!”

A girl shoves a letter into his hands and goes back into the crowd. Renjun nods, politely thanking them all, makes another pose for his old fansites, and enters the building utterly confused.

He can only think of one person who’d visit and assemble a crowd just because it’s _him_.

**Hyuck:**

Are you coming to the radio today?  
There are some people at the front  
How do they know your schedule like this???  
I didn’t even know you’d be here?  
Wait, was it supposed to be a surprise????? (8:27 PM)

“Renjun?”

He looks up and sees a staff by the door of the waiting room, holding a stack of paper to his chest and sporting an easy smile. It’s Kun — one of the first people Renjun met at the radio and the one in charge of writing the scripts.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I wanted to congratulate you in person,” he says. “I think this will bring you lots of good opportunities. I’ll be rooting for you!”

Renjun frowns, confused. “What do you mean?”

“What?” Kun asks, tilting his head to the side. He leans his weight in one of his legs, passing the stack of paper to the other hand. “What do you mean about that?”

“Like, why are you saying this? I didn’t do anything?”

This time it’s Kun who frowns. “But… your song? The one online?”

“ _My_ song? What—I didn’t do anything.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s your voice. At least, that’s what everyone else also thought it was,” Kun says. “That one song that Haechan played on his live and went viral? The radio has been receiving lots of messages since yesterday about you.”

“I—wait, _what_?”

There’s a lot of things going through Renjun’s mind and he can’t find in himself to focus on one and just _concentrate_ , his thoughts all over the place.

“...I didn’t know about that,” Renjun ends up saying. “I… Thank you, I guess. I’m not really sure what’s happening.”

So Kun tells him how Donghyuck was doing another one of his lives and played a snippet of some guide that they had recorded together, and some fan uploaded on social media just to go viral and start trending all over the internet. According to Kun, people were asking for Donghyuck to release the full version and _his name_ had been trending since last night together with Donghyuck’s. Renjun doesn’t know how he hadn’t seen any of that.

Kun leaves soon after, congratulating him once more before slipping away. Renjun sags down against the couch, feeling weird, confused, lost and everything all at once. Never in a hundred years he’d imagined something like that would happen.

**Hyuck:**

What’s happening??????? (8:38 PM)

* * *

He’s freaking out.

Donghyuck grabs his hand but Renjun tugs it away, wiping them on his pants.

“I’m all sweaty,” he tries to explain, voice weak and airy. He looks down at the floor and tries to calm his racing heart. _Control yourself, control yourself, control yourself._

But Donghyuck snags his hand back, holding it between his hands. “It’s okay,” he says, obviously trying to comfort him with his gentle tone. “It’s okay to be nervous.”

“I was never like this before. _Fuck_. I can’t believe I’m freaking out about _singing_.”

Donghyuck smiles slowly, his eyes soft as he looks at him, trying to be a comforting presence in all the possible ways he could. “It’s understandable, Renjunnie. It’s been a while and there’s a lot of people waiting for it. I know you’re feeling pressured about it, but don’t be so hard on yourself, okay? We can stop whenever you want.”

One of Donghyuck’s thumbs caresses the top of his knuckles, his kind eyes never leaving his face. Renjun hisses between his teeth, feeling like he was letting out all the air inside of him.

“I want to do this, it’s just—” he bites his lower lip hard, silencing himself.

“Let’s just take it easy, okay?”

Renjun nods and squeezes his hand. There’s a hint of fear bubbling in the pit of his stomach, but he trusts Donghyuck. He wouldn’t be there, in that situation, if it wasn’t for him and he knows that Donghyuck wouldn’t let him go over his limits.

“Okay… okay.”

Donghyuck holds his hand for a few more seconds before he lets it go, swiveling in his chair back to the computer.

“Are you ready to go? Can I call the producers back?”

Renjun inhales sharply but nods once, all tense. His hands tremble when he opens the door, but he walks inside the recording booth with his head high, seeing through the small window Donghyuck come back from the main door and sit down on his chair.

He feels Donghyuck’s gaze on him all the time, scorching hot and gentle—just like him. So Renjun tries to smile once, a little wavery and weak, but Donghyuck beams back and winks, lifting a thumbs up. Renjun takes a deep breath, his grip on the lyrics sheet getting a little tighter.

He doesn’t look away from Donghyuck not even once.

* * *

It's early morning. It must be. Renjun doesn't really know, there's no clock around him, but it's dark and he was sleeping on the couch, and now he's on his bed, the covers tucked tight around him.

He can hear Donghyuck's breathing next to him, and he knows that Donghyuck must have arrived from practice at his apartment, found him asleep on the couch, and carried him to bed.

When he turns to the side, he sees Donghyuck lying down, a phone being held over his face and a muted video playing on it, the bright lights illuminating his face.

"When did you get here?" Renjun mumbles, voice slurred by sleep.

Donghyuck startles a little, but he locks his phone and puts it away. In the sudden darkness, Renjun can't see him anymore, but he hears the rustling of sheets and feels Donghyuck's body close to him.

"Just now," Donghyuck replies. His voice is low and Renjun knows he must be laying on his side, just close enough for him to feel the air he exhales. "Did you woke up because of me?"

"No." He moves a little on the bed, fisting his pillow and pulling it down. "Is it late?"

"A little. Go back to sleep."

Renjun hums. His eyes slip close. "Are you staying for breakfast?"

The bed dips and he feels the covers being rearranged around him.

"I don't know."

Renjun hums again, already drifting off.

* * *

@dreamtrans0825: Hyuck was once again spotted at the Han River with his friend! @/fdghmcbxkl546246  
↳ @favmark: who is this friend?

* * *

A few days before the release of their “special song” (as the company is calling it), Renjun finds himself by Donghyuck’s side inside a practice room.

This time, instead of the other DREAM members being around and playing, there’s only him and Donghyuck and a couple of cameras with a dozen staff behind it.

They film some segments for DREAM’s YouTube Channel, a special two-part video about their collaboration, some behind the scenes content, and some random games between him and Donghyuck.

It brings him back in time. Before, when he was still in a group, it was normal for Renjun to spend hours and hours in front of a camera, constantly filming new content for their group’s social media and to interact with fans. It’s a bit easier than the song recording and soon Renjun finds himself relaxing, screaming towards Donghyuck when he tries to cheat and win the game.

There’s a myriad of different games and they spend hours there, sweating their make-up off and voices getting progressively hoarse with every scream. Renjun knows that most of the content will be cut off from the final video, but they still need to have something for the editors to work with, so he tries to do his best.

Donghyuck makes his competitive side flares up and, not for the first time, Renjun is laying down on the floor after losing another match, holding back from swearing at the boy who’s jumping around him and teasing him in a high-pitched tone.

They play some drawing games, and Renjun wins a round of pushing palms where Donghyuck lost his balance and fell flat on his ass, which ended up with Renjun celebrating a lot more than he probably should have.

“Renjunnie,” Donghyuck whines from the floor, making grabby hands at him. “Lift me up.”

Renjun rolls his eyes, but he holds Donghyuck’s arms and helps him up.

Minutes later and Renjun has bunny ears clipped on his hair and a scowl on his face, losing in rock-paper-scissors five times in a row.

“That’s impossible!” He yells, nudging Donghyuck’s chest with his finger. “You’re cheating!”

“How am I cheating?” Donghyuck asks, a smirk forming on his face. “You’re just bad.”

Renjun huffs, annoyed, and the game ends after he gets three more penalties in a row.

They try to play a game related to music, but not him or Donghyuck understands the concept and the staff also seems lost with their script, so the idea is scrapped away. In its place, they do a timing game (or telepathic game as the staff called it), where they had to work in harmony for the first time and do the same gestures for the keywords the staff called.

“It’s going to be a disaster,” Donghyuck says, after hearing the rules, smiling towards the camera. “We’re not going to get one right.”

“Yeah,” Renjun agrees. “I can’t believe I’ll have another penalty.”

With every new word, they scream louder and louder with the results, not believing their movements are matching up with each other. The staff also can’t believe, staring wide-eyed at them, and Renjun is shaking in excitement with the possibility of winning and getting a prize.

The staff says their last word, a whistle sounds, and Renjun jumps into action, hands going to the top of his head. He turns to the side and Donghyuck is doing the same thing, and somehow they’re hugging and jumping in place, screaming loudly and drowning the staffs’ pleading of _‘another round, please’._

Minutes later and Renjun is holding a wrapped box to his chest, watching Donghyuck do his final ment to the camera with a naturality that only comes with experience. “...we were awful at every other game, though it was mostly Renjunnie, let’s be honest—”

“ _Hey!”_

“—but we finally came through on the last one! Thank you to the staff for letting us keep going and give us the prize. I guess that this makes Renjunnie my soulmate, because we had a great teamwork and were very in tune, though it’s funnier when I’m winning by myself. Hope you all had fun! Now, Renjun-ah, how it was for you?” Donghyuck turns to him, blinking his big, dark eyes, eyelashes fluttering.

Renjun stammers a little, feeling heat crawling up his neck and painting his ears red. The camera’s light blinks up at him and Renjun wills his mind to work and say _something_ , suddenly feeling flustered. Donghyuck slightly bumps into his side with his elbow, prompting him to speak up, and Renjun snaps back to reality, blurting out something about thankfulness and sportsmanship spirit, his face flushing as he holds the prize tight.

* * *

He was almost one hour later, but Renjun is used to it. Such is the idol life — full of conflicting schedules and unpredictable things happening.

But the important thing is that he’s coming. Even with his full schedule, with all his obligations, Donghyuck still took time out to have dinner together, just like he had said, days ago, that he would.

The door beeps and Renjun bites down on a smile that threatens to form on his face. Soon, Donghyuck’s voice comes from outside of the kitchen, tone bright and cheerful as he teasingly calls out, _“Honey, I’m home~”_

Renjun rolls his eyes, fondly, and huffs loud enough for Donghyuck to hear. His cheeks hurt with the struggle not to smile.

Donghyuck comes behind him, looking over his shoulder to see what he’s cooking.

“What is this?” He asks, his voice loud right by his ear, Renjun feeling his breath fanning against his cheek.

Renjun slightly turns to the side, just enough to catch a glance at Donghyuck’s bright grin and curious eyes, and he can’t help but smile back. It’s that thing again—the gut reaction that he has when it’s about Donghyuck; the warm feelings, the urge to smile, the tiredness floating out from his body just by Donghyuck’s presence close enough.

“It’s a secret,” he says back, in a sing-song tone.

Donghyuck complains, whines a little, and playfully squeezes his waist, making Renjun jump in place and swat his hands away.

“Don’t,” Renjun threatens, lifting a wooden spoon. “Don’t you dare.”

But because he likes to live on the edge, Donghyuck pinches his waist one more time before he saunters to the living room, cackling loudly when he’s away from Renjun’s range. Renjun grumbles all the way until they’re seated in front of the television and filling their mouths with food.

The time passes quickly, and before Renjun realizes, midnight is already upon them. For a few moments he had forgotten why Donghyuck was there, why he had called for him, lost in just enjoying his presence. But reality had fallen and he squirmed on the sofa, drawing his legs towards his chest.

Donghyuck kept refreshing the charts page, waiting for the moment the song would drop. It was a risky move to release a song at 12 AM, but it wasn’t a group comeback nor the company had any interest in the digital collaboration single besides shutting up the endless request of the fans. Still, it’s Renjun’s first official release after _years_. He’s scared shitless.

Midnight comes and Donghyuck starts streaming the song on his phone. Renjun has half a mind of doing the same thing before he’s burrowing his phone deep into the couch. He can't deal with all the messages right now.

There’s a lot of things that run through his mind, but he stays silent. Donghyuck had already heard many of them and tried to console him, make them go away, but Renjun can’t stop his fear of maybe screwing Donghyuck’s career, maybe making him flop.

DREAM’s power was unquestionable but that was their first solo release—and with a non-famous person. Renjun couldn’t help but worry.

They wait. There’s some show on the television, but Renjun doesn’t pay attention to it. It’s when Donghyuck gasps that Renjun looks at him, teeth worrying his bottom lip.

Donghyuck looks at him with wide eyes before he grins. “Seventh place,” he utters, astonishment coloring his words.

“W-what?”

“Seventh place! The song debuted in the Top 10!”

Donghyuck is hugging him tightly, arms laced around his waist, and Renjun sags against his hold, leaning his forehead on Donghyuck’s shoulder. It feels like a heavy weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

 _Seventh place._ It didn’t matter to Renjun if it hadn’t been in the Top 5, if it wasn’t #1; it didn’t matter if the song ended up dropping positions and left the chart hours later. It was the highest something he participated in had ever charted and he was ecstatic.

Donghyuck starts to reply on his vibrating phone, fingers typing quickly on the screen. Renjun should probably do the same, but now, after the results have come in, tiredness has a hold on him and exhaustion is settling deep in his bones. He can always reply later.

“I’ll be going to sleep,” Renjun says, stifling a yawn. “Will you be going to bed or will you stay on the couch?”

Lifting his eyes from the phone, Donghyuck ponders for a minute. “Nah. I’ll bother and kick you on the bed today.”

Renjun snorts and goes to his bedroom, leaving the door open.

He’s settling under the blankets, yawning loudly and rubbing at his eyes when he hears the soft steps of Donghyuck approaching, uneasiness on his movements.

“Go and stay on your side of the bed,” Renjun mutters, turning to the side. His eyes are dropping close and he knows it won’t be long for him to fall asleep.

He hears Donghyuck breath out and feels the mattress sinking in by his side, the sound of sheets rustling right after. “You can’t complain,” Donghyuck says, his voice soft in the silence of the room. “You stole all the blankets last time and I was freezing.”

There’s a delay on his reaction, but then Renjun snorts. He can feel the heat emanating from Donghyuck by his side and there’s no more fight inside of him, sleep claiming every inch of his mind.

“It’s my home,” Renjun mumbles, words barely coming out. “I can do whatever I want here.”

Donghyuck says something back, he knows he does because Renjun can hear his voice, but by then he can’t understand what it means, mind already foggy, and by the next morning he doesn’t remember at all what it had been about.

* * *

@dreamtrans0825: Hyuck was spotted with his friend, Renjun, at a park today. OP says that they rode a bike together! @/azlgkdfshag637

* * *

For a moment, there's only a clicking sound coming from the mouse before Donghyuck lets out a heavy breath and swivels around in the chair, stopping in front of the small couch.

"Do you want to go out?" He asks. "We don't need to stay here if you're bored. I'll just be trying to finish this beat, so I won't be any fun today."

Renjun looks up from the phone, locking the device as he lowers it to his lap. "It's okay. I'm not bored— _seriously,"_ he adds when Donghyuck arches one eyebrow. "You can stay working there and I'll keep to myself. Really, Hyuck, if I was bored I'd just go back home and sleep. It's okay. You know I like being around you in whatever way it is."

Though he doesn't look very convinced, Donghyuck turns back to his computer, putting his headphones over his ears. Renjun had been serious; if it wasn't fun, he wouldn't be there, in early morning, stuck inside a studio when he could be sleeping.

But it was entertaining enough. He likes Donghyuck's company and he doesn't mind just staying together in silence. He enjoys watching Donghyuck work so hard in something he's so passionate about, to see the fruit of his labors and the glint in his eyes when he's satisfied with it.

Renjun is focused on a mobile game when Donghyuck puts the headphones over the desk and turns around.

"Hey, guess what?"

Renjun lifts one eyebrow, inquisitively, but continues moving his fingers in the rhythm of the game. "What?"

"I'm going to have a solo debut."

Choking on his own spit, Renjun drops his phone and looks up at Donghyuck, finding the other boy with a slight smirk curling on his lips.

_"What?"_

Donghyuck nods his head, fingertips running over the arms of his chair. "Yeah. I'm going to do part of the writing and composing too. Probably a mini-album."

"Hyuck—what—when—oh my _god."_

"The company saw the result of our collaboration and wants to keep the new fans well fed before we have another group comeback, so they're testing the waters with me."

Warmth pools in the pit of his stomach, and Renjun stares agape at Donghyuck before reality falls upon him and he lifts up from the couch, tackling him into a hug.

"That—that's great, Hyuck. Oh my god, that's _amazing._ I'm so happy for you, I know you're going to do great!"

Donghyuck smiles and pats him on the back, holding his hand until Renjun sits back on the couch.

"That's why I've been working more," Donghyuck says. "The company said not to talk about it to anyone, but fuck 'em. I really need your opinion on this one song here and you can't judge it if you don't know the context."

"God… This shitty company is rushing your solo? Your solo _debut?"_ Renjun shakes his head. "That's awful. You should take your time to do this however you want to."

"Well, it's always about money, isn't it?" Donghyuck asks, lips slightly pursed. "They see an opportunity and they grab it. But it's okay, even if it's like this, it's okay. It's a fucking great opportunity and I can let this slip away. So I'm trying my best."

Renjun looks at him, seeing the dark eye bags under his eyes from days and days of fucked sleep schedule, the need to prove to yourself and the world that you can do an amazing job. And Renjun knows that Donghyuck can do it. That he will definitely do something spectacular.

* * *

It’s night. Renjun arrived from the radio just a few minutes ago when his phone rings. He checks who’s calling and picks up immediately.

“Hey, Hyuck,” he says.

 _“Thank you for all the support. Really, I… I don’t know—I can’t even imagine how different things would be without you in my life,”_ his voice is so quiet that it makes Renjun stop for a moment.

“You don’t need to say any of that, Hyuck…”

 _“I do, I do,”_ he pauses for a moment. _“I was filming some things for our channel and one of them was a reaction to almost a rewind of my life, from pre-debut until now and… God, Renjun. You have no idea how much you helped and changed me. Really. And_ — _ugh, I know we’re not the kind of people who talks about things like that, but I just needed to get it off my chest, y’know? So thank you, truly.”_

Renjun feels his heart racing, cheeks flushing. There’s nobody around him but he feels embarrassed about being like this.

“You’re welcome and thank you too,” he says softly, and then, because he’s embarrassed, “but you’re only saying this because there’s nobody around listening.”

Donghyuck stays silent for a moment and Renjun even checks his phone to see if the call had suddenly ended when he lets out a little laugh. Renjun automatically smiles back with the sound. “ _I’ll tell the world next time I have an opportunity, then.”_

Renjun snorts. “Shut up.”

But he does keep his word. A little more than one week later, Renjun is in front of the television, watching a music broadcast, and the winner of the week has just been announced. Donghyuck is holding a huge flower bouquet in one hand, the trophy in another, and struggling to lift a mic to his mouth and do his speech.

Renjun is smiling at the television, phone in hand, and taking a picture of the screen and Donghyuck on it, starting to type a message when he hears his name and the world around him stops.

“ _... and to Renjunnie, my rock, my soulmate! I know you probably thought I’d forget, but here it is! Your name!_ ”

Donghyuck is screaming and jumping around, throwing hand kisses to the camera at every opportunity. Renjun stares at the television, his phone still in hands.

* * *

_It’s just Hyuck,_ Renjun tries to tell himself, _You’ve done this a lot of times before_.

It doesn’t matter how he tries to convince himself, because it seems like he can’t shake away his nerves and he _hates_ it.

Donghyuck pats him on the back before they get into the booth and in everyone’s view. “You okay?” He asks quietly. Renjun only nods. “You’re looking a little weird. Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Renjun forces himself to say. “Okay, okay.”

It’s just him and Donghyuck, with hundreds of eyes behind the window wall and the high number of viewers on the stream. He feels judged, as if everyone’s watching his every move, and he can’t even remember how one normally moves.

They’re talking about the songs in Donghyuck's debut mini-album, and Renjun struggles to get back into the familiar rhythm. He feels too self-aware of all the fans watching their every move and he almost feels like he can't even look at Donghyuck for too long. Like he's afraid of something slipping out.

But, by now, Donghyuck is too familiar with any kind of broadcast, so he manages to maintain the conversation going until Renjun gets his grip back.

“And how was the composition process?”

“It was different and a bit hard, but it was very enjoyable. I learned a lot.”

They start talking about every song on the mini-album, going one by one, though they focus on the title track a little more. When it gets to the last song, Renjun straightens up a little in the chair.

“Ah, the last song already,” he says into the mic. “Number five, _Happy Ending,_ ” he reads from the back of the album and looks up at Donghyuck, smiling as he says next, “Personally, it's my favorite from the album. How would you describe the song in one sentence?”

Donghyuck pauses, thinking. “Like the rays of the sun kissing someone’s skin. Or a whispered confession lost in the wind.” Renjun arches one eyebrow and Donghyuck continues, “Actually, it really depends on the person’s mood. The melody is bright, but the lyrics are ambiguous. You could read them as something hopeful or not. It really depends on your view.”

Renjun hums. “A very poetic answer," he says, chuckling a little before he continues, " _Happy Ending_ almost feels like it belongs in the ending scene of a movie. At least that’s what I feel. Just before the credits start rolling, after the happy ending was shown—just like its name. It brings me a lot of comfort, the lyrics are also very good. You helped with the composition and writing of this track, right?”

Donghyuck licks his lips. “That’s—that’s great,” he says, voice faltering slightly. Renjun only caught it because he knows Donghyuck like every breath he takes—a deep and familiar feeling. "And yeah, I helped with the lyrics and with the production of the song."

Later, after the show has ended and the curtains have been drawn, they’re tyding things up in the booth, with the next DJ already waiting on the other side of the door. Donghyuck grabs his hand before Renjun can grab his script from the desk and depart.

His touch is warm, and his eyes are soft, and Renjun doesn’t feel like looking away.

“About the last song, _Happy Ending,_ ” Donghyuck says, licking his lips and taking a breath in, “I’m glad you liked it, because I—I made it for you.”

The time is passing, the song almost ending, and the next DJ needs to get inside to prepare. Renjun squeezes his hand, his heart on his throat, and stutters an, “Y-you did?”

“Yeah.”

Donghyuck looks a little worried, a shadow of a frown on his brow, but he doesn’t turn his gaze away. Renjun smiles.

* * *

@ASRadio: _[image]_ Our special guest today was Haechan from @DREAM_twt!  
Check out his performance!  
https://youtu.be/vofjeJvRT9c  
#HAECHANDEBUT #A_THOUSAND_SUNRISES #ASRadio  
↳ @babyjen0: im shaking with this selfie thank u kings  
↳ @asunsetrain: thats my otp right there!!!!!  
↳ @twinklemark: no shipping where they can see plz  
↳ @asunsetrain: fuck off

@ASRadio: Check out @DREAM_twt and #RENJUN special performance of their collaboration “Think Of Tomorrow”!  
https://youtu.be/vofjeJvRT9c  
#HAECHANDEBUT #A_THOUSAND_SUNRISES #ASRadio

* * *

“It’s your time to do the dishes!” Renjun says, laying down on the couch, face pressed against the soft fabric. There’s some old movie playing on the television and he’s just half paying attention to it.

There’s silence for a moment before Donghyuck shouts from the kitchen, “I’m the guest here! I shouldn’t be doing any of this!”

Renjun snorts, the sound muffled on the couch, and doesn’t reply. Soon after, he hears the sound of water and Donghyuck humming under his breath.

It’s been a long, long time since he had last treated Donghyuck as a guest and done things for him. By now, he was more of a roommate than anything else, even having his own drawer and his things placed all around the apartment.

The movie continues playing and Renjun is almost dozing off when he feels a cold, wet hand around his ankle, fingers digging into the skin and massaging his calf. Renjun startles a little with the sensation, Donghyuck’s airy laugh echoing into the room with his reaction, and Renjun grunts, rubbing his face against the couch.

“Are you done?” He asks, a little slurred, words barely audible.

Donghyuck hums and his hands move to his other leg. “Do you want dessert or are you too tired?”

“Tomorrow,” Renjun says, “Tired.”

Donghyuck’s hands leave his legs and Renjun almost complains, but he’s silenced by a sudden weight against his back.

_“Oof.”_

There’s warm breath against his neck, Donghyuck trying to wiggle himself into the space between Renjun and the back of the couch, throwing one leg over him. Renjun feels too tired to try to make a scene and just lets Donghyuck do whatever he wants, sinking back against his chest, warmth enclosing around him and lulling him into a safe space.

“Do you want to sing again?”

Renjun opens his eyes, his mouth dry, not realizing he had closed them, slightly disoriented. The movie is still playing and they’re in the same position, but he doesn’t know how much time had passed. Maybe a few seconds, maybe minutes.

“Huh?” Renjun asks, with all the eloquence he can muster at the moment. “Why? We… we already sang… together.”

Donghyuck’s heartbeat is strong and steady, and with the volume of the movie so low, no other sound around, Renjun almost feels like he can hear it.

“I’m going to write you a song,” he says, and Renjun feels the hairs on the back of his neck raise up with the hot air. “I’m not saying for you to go solo, to debut again, or anything like this. I just want to write you something so you know it’s for _you_ , y’know?”

Renjun swallows hard, something stuck in the middle of his throat. Suddenly, he feels too warm, the fog in his brain clearing out.

“Well… If you want to…”

Donghyuck’s chest vibrates, a silent laugh making his body move. “Yeah,” he says. “And maybe you could sing it later… It doesn’t need to be official,” Donghyuck adds quickly. “Just something for us. But I think I’d like to hear your voice on it.”

“Okay…”

It feels like there’s a lot to unpack there, but Renjun feels too tired to overthink and worry about little things, so he just sighs, leaning back against Donghyuck’s chest. He feels fingers tracing random patterns on his waist, under his shirt, and though it tickles him a little, Renjun feels too sleepy to slap Donghyuck’s hand away.

The couch isn’t the best place to sleep, but Renjun will worry about his aching body later, after he wakes up. For now, he feels too comfortable to even think of moving.

* * *

**Hyuck:**

I made a duet for us (11:47 PM)

Really? (11:49 PM)

Yeah  
Are you free rn?  
Let’s record this  
Your voice will complete it (11:51 PM)

Right now?? (11:52 PM)

I know you’re not going to sleep now ㅋㅋㅋ  
I’ll order some food for us (11:54 PM)

Ahhh  
Free food?  
I’ll change clothes then ㅋㅋ (11:55 PM)

* * *

The ringing of his phone wakes him up and Renjun tries to find the device that is underneath his pillow.

Twenty minutes later, he’s walking around his apartment, chewing the inside of his cheek as he ponders on what to do. His duet with Donghyuck, just a little thing, something fun for the fans, climbed up in the charts during the night (after debuting at #17 and staying on the Top 25 for a few days) and now was sitting at the number one place for hours. And Donghyuck’s company wanted to send them on music shows and programs to capitalize on their new-found fame.

And…That's all he ever wanted, right? Recognition and the opportunity to sing. But still, he hesitates.

Two days later and he's signing a temporary contract at Donghyuck's agency, an agreement for some shows appearances as Donghyuck's plus one. Four days later and he's sitting in a chair at a beauty salon, receiving the idol treatment after years without having something similar. Thankfully, they don't bleach his hair.

And then they’re shipped off to every available place that requested them.

There aren’t enough hours in the day for all the radio, interviews and shooting that the management wants them to do. It feels like it’s impossible. Donghyuck laughs at him when he says that, asking when he finds the time to sleep in the middle of promotions when they’re always late to somewhere else.

Donghyuck just looks at him in the eyes, a grin on his face when he says, “We don’t sleep.”

The interviews are the easiest to adapt to. There are no cameras and it’s just him, Donghyuck, and a few staff asking them the same questions three other people already asked on a different day. The radio interviews are the ones who make him feel the most at ease — it’s a familiar place and format, something that brings him comfort.

But the music broadcast makes him nervous. It shouldn’t do because he knows how everything goes, he already did that years ago, and he knows how just a handful of people even watch that, but, staying backstage, waiting for the staff to arrange the stage for their pre-recording, shake his nerves up and Renjun feels nervous.

He looks at the staff testing the LED panels, some fixing the decorations on the far back wall, and Renjun feels his hands shaking around the mic he’s holding. It brings back too many memories. The last time he was there, there was a full group behind him, but now—

“Are you okay?” Donghyuck whispers, appearing by his side. He’s already in his hair and make-up, but still in his own casual clothes. There’s no mic with him, but he fiddles with the in-ears draped around his neck.

“Yeah,” Renjun breathes out. The LED panels blink the name of their song, _“Wait & See”_ in red, green, yellow, and then it all turns black. It stays like that. “No,” he then says. “Not really. But I’m trying to.”

Donghyuck looks at him, eyes searching for something. “Do you want to go away for a moment? They won’t need us for a while, at least.”

Renjun shakes his head. “It’s okay. I’m just… letting things sink in. It’s still weird to think I’m here and I’m going to perform again.”

“Well, my offer still stands,” Donghyuck says. “Just say something and I’ll bring you somewhere.” Renjun smiles a little with that.

He thinks that, if it wasn’t with Donghyuck, maybe he wouldn’t be doing anything of that. No, risk that. He probably would never even come back to music. After all, it had all started with Donghyuck’s music.

“I’m glad it’s you,” Renjun says after a while, turning his eyes away from the staff on the stage. “I’m glad we’re doing this together. And thank you, Hyuck, I… I don’t even know what to say—how to say it. Thank you for somehow bringing me here and for being by my side. I could never do this without you. Seriously.”

He feels a little like choking up, his throat burning, and Donghyuck looks at him with a heated gaze that only fuels the warmth inside him.

“Ah… Renjun-ah…” Donghyuck’s voice is gentle and velvet-like. “You don’t need to say anything like that. _I_ am the one who should be thanking you.”

“No, no. You have nothing to thank me for.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t.”

It’s easy to fall back into that rhythm, of the playfulness and light bantering. Renjun can feel a small smile forming on his face and Donghyuck grabs his hand, the other hanging by his side, still holding the mic.

“Shut up and just let me win this one.”

Renjun chuckles and rolls his eyes. Donghyuck squeezes his hand, his thumb caressing the top of his hand, the touch soft and feather-like. Something precious.

“You won the last one, let _me_ win this one."

* * *

They're squeezed together in Donghyuck's small couch, the lights in the studio turned off. Only the neon sign with his name is lit up, drowning the room in a pink glow. The computer screen shows up a pop-up window, a file rendering for hours, but not close yet to be finished.

It's very cozy there, under a blanket that Donghyuck had stolen from his apartment months ago, the humming of the AC as a white noise with the high-pitched sound coming from Donghyuck's phone.

There's some leftover food on the floor, the remnants of their midnight snacks, and Renjun is careful to not end up kicking the containers when he moves, bringing his legs to his chest and resting his chin on the top of his knees.

His movements pull the blanket to him and make it slip from Donghyuck's shoulders and pool on his lap, blocking his view from the phone.

"Oh no," Donghyuck moans, scrambling to set his phone free, but, by then, it's too late and he has already lost, screen back to the game menu. "Ugh."

Renjun watches Donghyuck pocket his phone away, grumbling under his breath and copying Renjun's position, his cheek squished against his knee as he turns his face to the side so he can look at Renjun.

"Hi."

Renjun smiles. "Hi."

Under the pink light, Donghyuck's hair glows and his dark eyes glint. Donghyuck looks at him unashamedly, drinking in on his sight, and maybe before Renjun would turn away, would break the connection, but that was a long, long time ago. Renjun has caught himself doing the same thing lots of time, hands wavering in the air for a second before he lowered them.

It goes unsaid. It always has been.

There's no mistake for the warmth that burns inside him, the way his body reacts to every touch, to every look. Donghyuck gets closer and Renjun _wants._

"I like you a lot, Renjunnie," Donghyuck says. His voice is gentle, but in the silence of the room, it echoes inside Renjun's mind and makes goosebumps spread across his skin, his nerves flaring up.

"Well, I sure hope you do," Renjun replies after a moment, trying to fight back against a smile. Donghyuck hasn't moved positions, still staring at him with his cheek squished. It's adorable. "I'd hate to have been reading you wrong this whole time."

Donghyuck's eyes crinkle at the edge, a shy smile curling on his lips. Maybe, at first glance, it would seem unusual to see such a sight on loud and rowdy Haechan, but Renjun has met every side, every facet on that boy in front of him, and he likes every one of them.

Sometimes he's loud and annoying, sometimes he's reserved and quiet. There's no word that can condense him in a single sentence, that can capture his complexity; at times, he looks too complicated, but there are moments where just one look and you can read him completely, easily. He's just Donghyuck.

"It would really suck, right?" Donghyuck asks and Renjun hums as a reply.

 _It would._ Certainly. But Renjun had no doubts, no fears inside his body about that. He wasn't someone fearless—there were a lot of things that made him worried and made him lose sleep, especially now when his life had changed so much compared to some months prior. But Donghyuck had never been one of them.

The line drawn on friendship had been blurred for a long time, where they'd been toeing the limit and testing the other's reaction. In some way, Renjun knew that, one day, they would be in that position.

Pink is reflected on Donghyuck's eyes and his lips part, “So does that mean I can kiss you now?”

Renjun snorts, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. His chin hurts a little with the sharpness of his knee. “I guess…?”

He can’t pretend that the words don't make him tingle all over, heart racing against his ribcage, his body flushing all over with the possibility of that happening.

Donghyuck stares at him for a moment and licks his lips. Renjun almost thinks he’s going to lean in before he snaps his head away and puts his legs down, starting to dig inside his pockets.

“Wait a minute. I need to text Jaeminnie right now—he’s been bugging me for _years.”_

Renjun can’t hold back the laughter that escapes him, the moment broken. “Oh my _god,_ Hyuck. Right now? At least kiss me first.”

Donghyuck lifts his eyes from the phone, a smirk on his lips. “You’ve been dying to kiss me, haven’t you? Just a second, _babe_ , I really need to do this.”

He doesn’t know if he should die because Donghyuck just called him _babe_ or because he won’t kiss him _just to send a text to Jaemin._ Probably both.

Renjun gets a little flustered, though he tries to play it cool, but by the way Donghyuck catches his eyes and the corner of his lips curl up, he knows he failed. He sees a glimpse of Donghyuck's phone before he locks and pulls it away, some capslock keysmashing and crying emojis.

He draws in a sharp breath when Donghyuck cups his face, pulling him forward, and Renjun feels his body becoming pliant under his touch, sitting straight and feet grounding against the floor, a spark of excitement flickering on the end of his spine. He doesn't know if Donghyuck's hand is that warm or if it's just his own face burning.

"Don't go all swooning in my arms right now," he teases and Renjun bites down on his tongue, swallowing down his nerves.

"You talk too much for someone who's just as nervous," Renjun retorts. Donghyuck smiles, but doesn't deny.

Donghyuck pulled him forward but stopped there, a breath away of distance, lips barely brushing. He gulps down, his hand getting clammy against Renjun's face, so Renjun is the one who takes the initiative and crosses the rest of the distance.

It's just a mere touch of lips, more breathing against each other's mouth than even a peck, but Renjun feels his stomach turning, heat crawling under his skin and all over his body. It's Donghyuck, and it feels right, and it's something that was in the making for a long time. It's Donghyuck and he's kissing him.

Renjun barely pulls away a little before Donghyuck's other hand cups the other side of his face and brings him back, some force back into his body and behind his movements, lips pressing stronger against his, and Renjun sighs, sinking with his touch. And it's too hot, the blanket definitely more of a nuisance at that point, so Renjun tries to push it away without breaking apart.

He feels Donghyuck shivering under his touch when he holds him by the waist, bringing him closer, almost on his lap now. They kiss for a little while, until they can't ignore the buzzing of Donghyuck's phone anymore and oxygen becomes too scarce to continue. And when Donghyuck gets away from his lap, finding his phone on the floor, Renjun takes a deep breath, lungs burning and his lips tingling.

 _Did that happen? Did it really happen?_ Renjun lifts two fingers to his prickling lips and finds them wet. Oh.

"If I had known that to make you that dazed all it needed was a kiss, I'd have done that before."

Renjun flushes a little under Donghyuck's heated gaze, not being able of holding himself back from staring at the boy's lips, all swollen and spit-licked. It lights his insides on fire, a sense of pride flooding in. _He had done that to him._

Donghyuck sits back by his side and types quickly on his phone. Now that Renjun had a taste of him, he finds himself wanting more, his fingers twitching on his lap. It's like something inside him had broken free and was consuming his entire being—the need of being closer to Donghyuck, closer as possible.

When Donghyuck puts his phone away again, he doesn't hesitate in crawling over Renjun's lap, arms enlancing around his neck. Renjun swallows hard, heart pounding inside his chest.

"We have to make up for a lot of wasted time," Donghyuck says and leans forward to another kiss. Renjun doesn't say anything and just holds him tight.

* * *

"Have you been with someone?"

Renjun shakes his head, the arms around him something comforting. "No time," he says. "Too busy with everything and then… Then I didn't want to."

Donghyuck doesn't laugh but Renjun can feel the smile forming against his neck, a deep exhale, and then a little kiss brushed on the skin. He knows that Donghyuck understands.

"I get it," Donghyuck says after a while, his voice making Renjun shiver with the proximity of his mouth to his neck. "I know how it is."

"Yeah?"

Donghyuck's body is too warm and he holds him too tight, but Renjun doesn't want anything different right now.

"Uh-huh."

Renjun smiles a little. "Hmm… I wonder why…" He says, teasingly.

Donghyuck snorts and his fingers squeeze him for a second. "I wonder why," he mimics him, tone sweet. "Whose fault was it, hmm?"

Renjun bites his lower lip, but the smile still spreads across his face. "I couldn't look at anyone else," he confesses in a low voice. Something vulnerable, something precious. "You wouldn't leave me alone. You fucker."

Donghyuck laughs against his neck and Renjun squirms in his hold, his breath tickling him.

It's good and it's everything he ever wanted.

* * *

@dreamtrans0825: Everyone, please :( Let’s not spread baseless rumours around! Don’t believe everything you read online just because it’s in Korean! There’s a lot of antis trying to start things :(

* * *

Donghyuck is already at the door when he parks, just a backpack with him, but Renjun still honks just to tick him off.

“God,” Donghyuck complains as soon as he gets in, slamming the door. “Where are you kidnapping me to?”

Renjun turns to him and smiles wide. He tucks one lock behind Donghyuck’s ear and lets his palm rest against Donghyuck’s warm cheek for only a moment. “What do you think about the sea?”

Donghyuck doesn’t answer immediately, his eyes going wide and mouth parting. But then he regains his wits. “Wait, are you serious? Like, are you joking right now or…?”

Renjun shakes his head. “I’m not joking. I talked with your manager and you really, _really_ are getting a 3-day vacation. You’re welcome~” he finishes, in a sing-song voice.

Donghyuck stares at him, still unbelieving. Renjun makes to start the car again, but Donghyuck stops him with a hand on the steering wheel.

_“Fuck. Really?”_

“Yes,” Renjun answers. “Three days. Alone. No managers breathing down your neck—and probably no internet connection, sorry about that part. But… Yeah. Happy birthday…?”

“What the _fuck,_ Renjun. How did you even convince my manager? What’s your secret?”

Chuckling, Renjun starts the car and starts to drive away from Donghyuck’s dorm. “That’s a secret,” he says. “Just… no worries in these next few days, okay? It’s a chance for you to relax and just… You know. Be you. Away from so many eyes.” From the corner of his eyes he can see Donghyuck playing with his phone and then the music starts to play inside the car; it’s an instrumental piece, something melodic and in tune for their small road trip. “Do you remember that beach cottage picture you showed me a while ago? Yeah, it’s something like that.”

“God, I still have no idea how you managed that,” Donghyuck murmurs. “But…” he pauses a little, but then continues. “Is really everyone okay? Even with my birthday?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. Since we’re back the next day, they’ll probably make you do a live then.”

“It’ll be my first birthday away since I got into the company.”

When Renjun stops at a red light and turns to face Donghyuck, he’s greeted with a big smile on the boy’s face. Donghyuck rests his hand over Renjun’s on the gear shift, his eyes bright and intense. “Thank you,” he says. Renjun smiles.

Like Renjun had hoped for, Donghyuck loves the place, even though it’s a little small and not as high-end as the many places he had stayed before while on tour. But it’s something away from prying eyes and, for a moment, is only theirs. And it’s enough.

Donghyuck seems to bloom even more under the sun, with the sea extending across the horizon and seaspray surrounding him, his shorts hitched up high on his thighs. He glows and burns with an inside fire that makes it impossible for Renjun to turn his gaze away. But it’s not like he would want to—it’s an only moment, something unique and special, and he makes sure to savour and save every single memory inside his brain.

The sun goes up and down, the sky turns every color of the rainbow, and there’s no one there besides them, so Renjun has no fear of kissing Donghyuck out in the open, the sound of waves crashing around them, the sand digging into his skin.

Donghyuck tastes of salt and smells of his sunscreen and everything is perfect. It almost feels like he’s stuck inside a dream, his vision slightly hazy, everything around him glimmering. He wishes every day could be like that.

Time moves in a different way there.

He feels the crawl of every second, the rough drag of the grains of sand against his fingertips, the fresh smell of the sea, but then he blinks and another day has passed, the stars shining bright in the open sky, away from the blinding lights of the city. Donghyuck’s touch grounds him back to reality and Renjun drowns inside him.

And even though he tries to enjoy every minute, it still goes by way too quickly. Soon, they’re back inside the car, Donghyuck humming to a pop song playing and Renjun can already see the traffic-jam on the horizon, the tall and imposing buildings marking the city’s entrance.

He looks at Donghyuck when they’re stuck between another hundred cars on the highway, his hand on Donghyuck’s thigh. “Thank you for these last few days.”

Donghyuck fixes him a look for a second before his hand covers Renjun’s and he surges in, slotting their mouths together in a short and sweet kiss, even though there are people inside their cars around them.

“Thank you,” he says back, fondly. There’s a lightness in his eyes since they first got into the beach that he still carries back with him. Renjun smiles and follows his mouth, tasting the sweetness from the candy he had earlier. Donghyuck makes him want to be brave too.

* * *

@DREAM_twt _[image]_ Happy birthday to #HAECHAN #HappyHaechanDay  
↳ @chenlefairy: where is hyuck? isn’t he going to do a live?  
↳ @hyuck_babie: what is happening? where’s haechan?  
↳ @kingjeno: @DREAM_twt give us some explanation!!!

* * *

@DREAM_twt: _[image]_ Sorry everyone ㅋㅋㅋㅋ I was away and had no internet connection ㅠㅠ But thank you for all the birthday wishes! I received them well. Thank you for all the support <3 - Fullsun

* * *

_“You know that demo you recorded for me?”_

Renjun makes an affirmative noise and continues to fold the clothes that are scattered around on his bed. “So what?”

_“A producer heard it and really liked your voice. She even asked me for your contact but I said I’d talk with you first. So, what do you think?”_

He stares at the phone propped up on the pillow, as if the device could give him an answer, but eventually sighs and says, “I don’t know, Hyuck… It would be only for demos or…?”

_“I don’t know. You’d have to talk with her to know that. But usually it starts with recording some demos and then, if some higher up caught wind and likes it, they can try to streak a deal. Or maybe an OST. It really depends. Do you want me to pass along your contact?”_

“I don’t know yet, I’ll… think about it.”

 _“There’s no hurry, I just wanted to let you know,”_ Donghyuck pauses for a while and Renjun can hear some faraway clicks before he continues, _“Are you going to sleep now?”_

Renjun snorts. “I’m folding some clothes and I still need to revise tomorrow’s script, but then I’ll be going to bed. Are you staying at your company today?”

_“Uh-huh. I’m working on some things and I don’t want to stop the flow, but I’ll stay with you on the line until you get into bed. Is that okay?”_

“Sure,” Renjun replies, smiling a little, even though Donghyuck can’t see him. He knows that this is more for Donghyuck’s own personal gain than his, since Donghyuck likes to talk with him at night, before going to bed. “Do you want to switch to video?”

_“Okay. I’ll hang up now!”_

* * *

“So, which one do you think is the best?”

Renjun stares at the two album covers on Donghyuck’s hand and shrugs. “Both are okay? Honestly, I don’t see that much difference between them.”

“But this one is red,” Donghyuck complains. “And this other one is a deeper shade of red.”

“Well… Just pick the one you like the best?”

Donghyuck stares hard at the papers, and Renjun thinks that if his gaze could burn, there would be nothing left of them.

“I’m still deciding on the name,” Donghyuck says, lifting the paper with the deeper shade of red and lifting it to the light in the ceiling. “But I’m thinking of doing some kind of concept and then all the songs following the same aesthetic. It would be cool, right?”

“Wasn’t that Jeno’s debut? With the Dark Circus concept?”

Donghyuck throws him a look and then lifts the other paper. “Yeah, I got the idea from him,” he confesses. “But it would be a different concept, of course. I have a list on my phone and I was trying to slim it down, but didn’t manage to succeed with that. So I thought that, maybe, I should just choose the songs I want and see what concept matches them but…”

“...but?” Renjun asks when Donghyuck doesn’t finish his sentence. Donghyuck lowers the album covers and puts them on the table, turning his back to Renjun, but Renjun is quick enough to catch the blush on the other’s face. “What did you do, Hyuck? Are all your songs cute and you wanted a dark concept?” He jokes.

Donghyuck turns to him, leaning back against his desk, his hands sprawled on the surface. He’s biting his lower lip and looks at the floor for one second too long before looking at Renjun in the eye. Renjun can feel that something is coming.

“All the songs are about love,” Donghyuck blurts out. “I can’t write about anything else but you, since… _you’re always on my mind,”_ the last part is mumbled under his breath but Renjun hears it clearly enough.

A smile starts to form on his lips. “You’re so damn cheesy, oh my god.”

“Shut up.”

“Well, _you_ are the one who started this… God, Hyuck, I’m flattered, don’t get me wrong but… There’s only so many songs about love you can put out before people start to get suspicious or even worse—they might try to slander you artistically, saying you can’t write about anything else.”

Donghyuck crosses his arms against his chest. “That’s so dumb. Like, almost 90% of DREAM’s discography is songs about love or crushing on someone. If I want to write fifty songs just about your favorite cake I damn well can.”

“Well… Yeah. But you, more than anyone else, know how people treat differently solo acts. But, huh, if it fits your concept… then why not, I guess?”

Donghyuck seems to ponder on that, chewing on the inside of his cheek, and Renjun’s eyes widen a bit in surprise. “Wait… Are you really thinking about doing this?”

“Honestly? Kind of,” Donghyuck replies, shoulders relaxing a little. “I _could_ put a song about partying. And there’s one I made with Jisungie that’s kind of cute… But they’re not the ones that are really _calling_ me now, you know? What you said made me think—people are gonna talk shit anyway, so I should just do whatever the hell I want.”

“Uh… If you’re sure…”

But now there’s a glint on Donghyuck’s eyes that makes Renjun gulp. “Hey, Renjun-ah,” Donghyuck says, his voice playful and saccharine sweet. “If my next album ends up being a love confession to you, you’re going to need to up your game a _looot_ , huh? At least three random declarations of love and one of them being a flash mob.”

_“Oh, dear god.”_

“Yeah, can you imagine breaking into a dance routine in the middle of the street? Oh! A hot air balloon would be cool too.”

_“Lee Donghyuck.”_

“Yeah?”

Donghyuck blinks his big, dark eyes, eyelashes fluttering. Renjun sighs. He walks in Donghyuck’s direction, finger curling around the belt loop of Donghyuck’s jeans and tugging him closer. “You’re so silly. God, I don’t know why I still deal with you.” His words are laced with affection and the corner of his lips lift up in a small smile. “Everything you choose to do is okay. Just be careful or people might get suspicious.”

Donghyuck grins wide and, with a hand around his waist, he pulls Renjun in until their bodies are touching. “Let them be. I don’t have anything to hide.”

The prospect of being in the open is as exciting as is terrifying, but Donghyuck speaks with so much conviction, so much certainty, and his eyes are so soft and gentle, that Renjun can’t contain the warm feeling he gets in his chest.

* * *

[NEW] HAECHAN Comes Back With 1st Full Album - HALF OF MY SOUL A Few Months After Solo Debut

[+2,256 / -102] I can’t wait ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

[+1,546 / -87] In Haechan’s music we trust

[+653 / -71] It’s going to be a hit ㅋㅋㅋ

[+210 / -698] Why does he release so much? Does he want the fans’ money that bad? ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+106 / -794] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ flop

* * *

@dreamdevil: the mv killed me i’ll never get over his hip thrusts #HAECHANCOMEBACK #SUNSHINE

@ceozhong: the album is SO GOOD i feel like an artist from the old times longing for my friend who can’t stay with me bc our families hate each other but we still meet in secret #HAECHANCOMEBACK #SUNSHINE

@lovelydream: is just me or ??? the mv is very homoerotic ??? and i’m 100% here for it ???? #HAECHANCOMEBACK #SUNSHINE  
↳ @sunshineshyucks: YES the tension was killing mE #HAECHANCOMEBACK #SUNSHINE  
↳ @jen0feels: A TRUE KING WE STAN #HAECHANCOMEBACK #HALFOFMYSOUL  
↳ @lovelydream: @jen0feels you’re using the wrong hashtag the title track is #SUNSHINE

* * *

“How’s everything in the dorm?”

_“I don’t know why we’re still here together. Really, Jisung could buy the entire building and give us all one apartment at this point.”_

Renjun laughs out loud and turns on the bed, changing the phone from one ear to another. “And how are things with _you?”_

_“Hard. I’m tired as shit. I forgot how tough the promotions period is but… I like to be busy, so it’s okay. I could deal with more sleep though.”_

“I know you do, baby… And please, try to get more sleep. Oh—do you want to hang up now? So you can sleep?” He suddenly asks.

But Donghyuck replies quickly, voice raising. _“No, no! It’s okay! Let’s just talk a little more and then I’ll go crash. It’s been, what, five days since we last talked? And it’s been_ so _long since we saw each other… Tsc."_ He pauses for a second. _"Ah, if I say that hearing your voice will help me sleep better will you stay more on the line?”_

Renjun huffs and pushes the phone away for a second, burying his face against the pillow before returning to the call.

_“Renjun?”_

God. “If you keep saying things like this I’m hanging up,” he tries to keep his voice as neutral as possible and to not let Donghyuck know how these kinds of comments affect him.

“ _Uh-huh...”_

Donghyuck's voice has a teasing tone to it and Renjun can see the scene clearly in his mind — Donghyuck biting down a smile but his eyes turning into crescents as he fiddles with the phone in his hands.

“I think I’m stealing your fans," he says suddenly, changing the topic.

_“What do you mean?”_

“Some of them just come every day now, keep standing in front of the building and then give me letters. But they aren't addressed to you. The radio is even thinking of moving me to that big booth again.”

_“Maybe you’re just getting famous. After all, you had two very successful collaborations with a very big artist, huh?”_

Renjun rolls his eyes, fondly. “Or maybe it’s just this artist’s fault who keeps talking about me on broadcasts and then people search me up, huh?”

There's silence for a second, and then Donghyuck laughs. _“Oh, I’m guilty of this one…"_ he says, playfully. _"I just can’t resist you~”_

Renjun puts his hand over his face. “Oh, Jesus… Well…" his voice gets weaker, mumbling the next words. "I guess I _do_ miss you too, hmm… I hope everything keeps going well and you finish these promotions safely…”

Donghyuck makes an affirmative noise. _“Thanks, Renjun-ah… Ah, on Monday there’s no broadcast and I talked with my manager so I’ll be spending the day with you, okay?”_

That gets his attention and Renjun feels more alert, pausing his mindless fiddling. “Oh, really?” He can't hide the excitement in his voice.

Even though he can't see Donghyuck, it's almost like he _knows_ that he’s probably smiling right now.

_“Yeah… I can’t wait.”_

* * *

He's sitting in front of the television for the past three hours, watching an awards ceremony he doesn't have that much interest in. But Donghyuck already performed there and he was nominated for a big award, and Renjun had promised he'd be watching, rooting for him all the way in his apartment.

It's a very big thing for him. Not only it's a prestigious show, but Donghyuck is going all by himself for the first time, representing the giant hit his last solo album was. And he was nervous, having called Renjun in the early morning before leaving the dorm, and another time just before getting into the red carpet.

Donghyuck admitted he thought he might be the winner from the category (just him and another one of the nominees having been invited to the ceremony) and he was nervous about his speech and little things that only an anxious mind can come up with to worry about.

The ceremony drags on. By the time that they’re finally reading the nominees’ names, Renjun had already finished an entire tub of ice cream and was dozing off during the last performances, but had startled awake after hearing Donghyuck’s name being called on the screen. He picks his phone up and starts to record the television, waiting in apprehension and silence.

For a moment, he regrets not having accepted Chenle’s invitation to watch the ceremony with everyone, but when they open the shimmering gold envelope and read Donghyuck’s name, Renjun was glad for being alone and have no one around him to witness him falling on the floor, phone sliding across the surface.

“Fuck!”

He manages to pick his phone and stop the recording, his own heart beating fast with the image of a smiling Donghyuck going up to the stage and receiving the trophy and a bouquet of roses. Renjun feels so proud of him, of that nervous boy backstage who had blossomed into one of the biggest acts in the country, proud and sure of his own destiny, and unapologetic of being who he is.

Under the blinding stage lights, with thousands of eyes upon him, Donghyuck shines and doesn’t waver. The person from earlier, who had called and was unsure of his own speech and what to do, seems more part of a dream when compared to the person who was talking on the mic and commanding attention with his every move. He had been born to perform and be on stage.

“...company and to all the staff who helped me get to this point. This award is also to my bandmates, our DREAM—”

The screams from the fans are so loud that Donghyuck is forced to stop talking, gawking at the reaction around him, and Renjun is smitten with the look on his face.

“—my closest friends who always supported me and were by my side in every step of the way. And—whoa, I have so many people to thank for, I’m sure I’ll forget someone. Thank you, Mark-hyung, Jeno, Jaeminnie, Chenle, Jisungie… I love you! And—I swear I’m close to the end, just one more second, everyone—To Renjunnie, my soulmate and partner in crime, and my manager who always made sure to wake me up in time to my schedules, and also my vocal teacher; thank you, professor! But, above all, to all our fans who supported us until here and helped us make our dreams come true. Thank you, everyone!”

 _God._ Donghyuck is going to be the death of him, Renjun is sure of that.

He sends him a text, the video (even with the falling part because he knows that it would make Donghyuck laugh), and starts to screenshot some messages in social media. There’s so much content, so many things that his fans do, and it’s impossible for Donghyuck to stay on top of everything, so Renjun tries to share at least a little of what he finds.

It’s no surprise to find Donghyuck’s name trending.

These days, it seems that no matter what he does, his name is always there on the front page. ‘DREAM’ is also there, with some of the members' names and his own. He hesitates in clicking on his own name, but Renjun ignores it and goes to the Donghyuck tag. Though he’s used to seeing his name trending next to Donghyuck’s, it still makes him surprised sometimes.

The ceremony has ended now and Renjun turns off the television. The phone in his hand is buzzing constantly with all the notifications coming, but Renjun ignores it for a moment.

He reports some messages of hate and trying to spread rumours — unfortunately it's part of being in the public’s eyes, but Donghyuck has been getting more and more of those lately. He saves one cute fanart when he sees Donghyuck’s name trending in the first place and his own name right below. Huh. _That’s something new._

One part of his brain is telling him to just click and check out what people are talking about, but he also knows he won’t find just nice things. Still, curiosity speaks a little louder and he clicks on his own name.

@KPOPNEWS: [BREAKING] Singer HAECHAN (@DREAM_twt) Rumoured To Be In A Relationship With Former Co-Host Radio DJ REN JUN (@ASRadio).  
See More At: https://bit.ly/3d0VlZ5

The world freezes for a moment.

Really, it’s nothing unusual to have some “breaking news” after someone popular wins something big or breaks a record. Donghyuck has been having “rumours” and “earth-shattering news” since his debut, and even Renjun did get caught in some of those, but the picture under the tweet, a grainy black and white image, makes it everything real. Too real. There’s no mistaking for who those people inside the car kissing are. Especially when Renjun _was there._

His finger hovers over the link before he can even think about it and the article is soon loading. He feels ice running through his veins as he scrolls through the page.

The rational part of his brain tells him that they could work with the upper management to write off the article as a baseless rumour. It would be easy to do it — the pictures could be seen as just friends having fun around the city and with each other. There’s nothing weird there.

Until the very end of the page.

There’s no way of explaining why friends are kissing inside of a car, in the middle of the night, or why they’re walking hand in hand in a park and Donghyuck’s snuggling into the crook of his neck, their hands intertwined. It doesn’t matter that they have masks on and hats pulled low — the fans can recognize them easily. They always can.

And though it makes him slightly better that there’s only one picture of them kissing, it’s enough to create a mess.

There’s a mixture of everything going inside him — fear, anger, helplessness, indignation. It sucks him in completely and Renjun can only stare at the words and pictures mocking him through the screen.

He can’t do shit about it. People are already talking and waiting for a statement and he _doesn’t know what to do._

Renjun doesn’t realize his phone is ringing until it starts for a second time, Donghyuck’s name flashing on the screen and Renjun scrambles to pick it up.

Before he can lift the device to his ear, Donghyuck’s face appears on the screen. He’s still dressed in the clothes from the ceremony and with make-up on, but he’s inside a car and Renjun can hear the sound of traffic around him.

 _“Did you see?”_ It’s the first thing that comes out from Donghyuck’s mouth, a deep frown marking his brow.

Renjun nods his head, serious. The silence feels too heavy, but there’s nothing to be done to lighten the mood.

_“What do you want to do?”_

It catches him by surprise. What does he want to _do?_ Renjun has no idea. He can only think about Donghyuck’s blooming career and the consequences he’ll have.

“What do _you_ want to do?” He asks back. “Do you want to deny or something like that? We can try to… I don’t know, we can lie and say we broke up. That it was something quick.”

 _“Do you want to go out? Do you want to confirm?”_ There’s no mistake about Donghyuck’s words even with the static coming from the phone.

Renjun chokes. “It’s going to destroy your reputation.” His voice is something weak, too fragile. “Maybe kill your career. God, they’ll never leave us alone.”

 _“It won’t. Renjun, listen to me—this won’t end my career, okay? Trust me. I know my fans and I know who I have by my side. Yeah, the media is going to be a pain in the ass but they always have been. I… If…”_ Donghyuck shakes his head, frustration lacing his voice before he speaks again, _“If you agree, we can confirm this. We can confirm and we won’t have to hide, but it’s not like we were even doing_ that _, right? I’m all in, Renjun-ah, but I don’t want to force you if you’re not ready.”_

“Things will never be the same again, right?”

_“No, baby… They will. You’ll see. Soon enough they’ll get bored and everything will go back to normal. Don’t worry about that.”_

There’s too much going on through his mind for Renjun to be able to process everything, but he still asks again, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest, “Are you sure, Hyuck? Are _really_ sure?”

It’s through a phone, video all grainy and with shitty quality, but Renjun swears that Donghyuck’s eyes are burning with an inside fire. There’s no hesitation in him.

_“Yeah. Don’t be afraid, Renjun-ah. Trust us.”_

* * *

@DREAM_twt: _[image]_ My muse, my love, and my biggest fan. Thank you for all these years together and for the many more yet still to come. And to our fans, I’d li.... Read More At: https://bit.ly/3d0VlZ5  
↳ @pwark02: i cant believe he confirmed the rumours just when his company released a statement saying they were gonna look into it lmaoooo king  
↳ @najae_minnie: THE SITE IS DOWN EVERYONE TRYING TO READ HIS MESSAGE AT THE SAME TIME PLS LET ME READ IT  
↳ @dreamfighting: does anyone have screenshots? plz dm me plzzz

* * *

The world doesn’t end, though sometimes it feels like it’s going to.

It’s his second week away from the radio, but Renjun isn’t that worried. Kun had texted him earlier and said that he could start broadcasting again the following week — just with pre-recordings, nothing live yet, but it was a start.

Snuggled with Donghyuck on the couch, it almost feels like, between the four walls of his home, everything was perfect and nothing could touch them. It certainly isn’t the truth, especially with Donghyuck’s phone buzzing constantly on the coffee table, but they very pointedly ignored the device, another _‘Unknown number’_ flashing on the screen before it turned black.

There’s a boring movie playing on the television and Donghyuck changes the channels at a speed that makes it impossible for him to even know what is playing, but his finger freezes on the button when his own face appears in one of the channels, a news broadcast. Renjun barely reads their names before the channel is being changed again, and Donghyuck settles for a popular drama that none of them were following.

It’s okay. Nothing new by now. In a weird way, seeing his face on the television isn’t strange anymore.

“That was such an ugly picture,” Donghyuck complains. “They could at least have chosen one better for me.”

“What? You didn’t like the time your hair had three different shades of yellow?”

Donghyuck grumbles in false annoyance and Renjun kisses the skin under his jaw, softly.

“It’s okay, Hyuck.”

They both know he isn’t talking about his hair.

Donghyuck’s arm around his waist holds him a little tighter, brings him a little closer to him.

No matter how hard they try, they can’t run away from everything, so it’s inevitable to end up stumbling into another video, another post, another news segment. It seems like everyone had dug up every video or picture where they had been together or in each other’s proximity, dissecting every second of any interaction to use it as a support for their own narratives.

But it’s okay. Renjun had been mad at first, but he accepted quickly there was nothing for him to do about it. People would always talk, but he and Donghyuck knew the truth behind everything, and that’s what mattered.

There’s some family drama happening on the show and someone is screaming, but Renjun doesn’t know the context of the fight, solely focused on the feel of Donghyuck’s fingers on his skin.

On the table, Donghyuck’s phone keeps buzzing again, ignored.

Donghyuck’s touch is enough to distract and fill his mind, and that’s all it matters in that moment, in that night. Maybe tomorrow would be kinder, a little better, or maybe it would be the opposite. Renjun knows he can’t predict the future, but with Donghyuck next to him and in his arms, Renjun likes to think about the better options.

With him, it always feels like everything will be okay, no matter what.

* * *

@HRJ_official: #RENJUN Solo Debut — 1st Mini Album SILVER MOON (Produced by HAECHAN)  
Release 05.26 @ 6 PM KST

**Author's Note:**

> well........yea. hope u guys enjoyed it hdhdhsh
> 
> u can find me on [twt](https://twitter.com/pinkhrj) | [ccat](https://curiouscat.me/rensungie) <3


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